Performance Report
risking life for likes a growing public health crisis
Needs work
38
/ 100
Overall Performance
Needs work
Score Breakdown
Introduction
Hook, Thesis, Roadmap
30
/ 100
Hook: 20
Thesis: 40
Roadmap: 10
Essay Sections
Content, Strategy, Analysis
57
/ 100
Content: 65
Strategy: 32
Analytical: 65
Conclusion
Synthesis, Closure, Impact
20
/ 100
Synthesis: 20
Closure: 10
Forward Look: 0
Impact: 5
Language
Writing quality across all sections
46
/ 100
38 100
You made a standard attempt.
The attempt follows a conventional structure but lacks critical depth and essential sections, resulting in a fragmented argument.
Good start, but lacks depth and concrete examples. Aim for a more rigorous analysis to score high.
Introduction
115 1 + 2 + 2 + 3
Words: 115
Target: 60-100

Risking life for Likes: A Growing public Health Crisis etu Brutus? Morality wins the day, but your ability to hide your immorality from the light of the day, or shall we say Risking lives for Likes. Social media and its fast cunning ability to communicate also led to degradation values throughout the world, which finally convert into death of naive, amature influencers, content creator's leading to many online/offline fights, Moral policing and mental warfare of endless doom scrolling. True victorian morality of which many of us very fond of appearing to be what you are not; in other words, Hypocrisy. Risking lives for likes is a major health crisis among nation such as ours India.

Risking life for Likes: A Growing public Health Crisis etu Brutus? Morality wins the day, but your ability to hide your immorality from the light of the day, or shall we say Risking lives for Likes. Social media and its fast cunning ability to communicate also led to degradation values throughout the world, which finally convert into death of naive, amature influencers, content creator's leading to many online/offline fights, Moral policing and mental warfare of endless doom scrolling. True victorian morality of which many of us very fond of appearing to be what you are not; in other words, Hypocrisy. Risking lives for likes is a major health crisis among nation such as ours India.

Social Media and Public Health Crisis
217 3 1
Words: 217
Target: 80-150

Where no social media & public stunts for a sense of innocence for group of people. Over 1 lakh such incidents has been reported in which investigation drive result related to social media, Reels making Leading problem that to have counter so a true a beautiful picture of our country. Metro, public spaces and Restaurants have started calls of such incidents to be frequent and right to Freedom under art 19 and right to life and other right are violated. It is important to counter such issue as it also introduced unwanted burden on health sector. In report by Ministry of communication & Health produced its data which identifies it as a health crisis. India's govt has launched major scheme Nasha Mukt Abiyaan where they concil your attempt to make you morally upright person, spreading awareness about right use, codifying law also for security purpose as leakage of soft porn led to an addiction to self deterioration, Ban on certain apps. Sustainably govt. should take into concern into consideration and resolve the problem as best suits. [Margin Notes] - Individual Privacy - Cases related to 5 PM - Public Studies - Addiction & Crisis - Fake news - Several Misguiding issues. - Major drawbacks to families - Nation Resource loss - Violence in content - Health Issues.

Where no social media & public stunts for a sense of innocence for group of people. Over 1 lakh such incidents has been reported in which investigation drive result related to social media, Reels making Leading problem that to have counter so a true a beautiful picture of our country. Metro, public spaces and Restaurants have started calls of such incidents to be frequent and right to Freedom under art 19 and right to life and other right are violated. It is important to counter such issue as it also introduced unwanted burden on health sector. In report by Ministry of communication & Health produced its data which identifies it as a health crisis. India's govt has launched major scheme Nasha Mukt Abiyaan where they concil your attempt to make you morally upright person, spreading awareness about right use, codifying law also for security purpose as leakage of soft porn led to an addiction to self deterioration, Ban on certain apps. Sustainably govt. should take into concern into consideration and resolve the problem as best suits. [Margin Notes] - Individual Privacy - Cases related to 5 PM - Public Studies - Addiction & Crisis - Fake news - Several Misguiding issues. - Major drawbacks to families - Nation Resource loss - Violence in content - Health Issues.

→
NEEDS DEPTH: Social Media and Public Health Crisis — Deepen the analysis by connecting mental health issues explicitly to societal pressures for validation. (Enhancing the analysis from understanding to a deeper evaluation clarifies the direct implications of social media on mental health, making your argument more compelling.)
See full section analysis
↑ Insert after "Social Media and Public Health Crisis"
→
GAP: Case Studies — Add specific case studies of influencers who have faced mental health challenges due to social media pressures. (Incorporating real-life examples provides concrete evidence to support your claims, making the argument more relatable and impactful.)
→
GAP: Government Response Effectiveness — Include an analysis of current government measures addressing the health crisis linked to social media. (Assessing the effectiveness of government responses highlights the systemic nature of the issue and offers a broader understanding of potential solutions.)
Conclusion
16
Words: 16
Target: 60-100

- Major drawbacks to families - Nation Resource loss - Violence in content - Health Issues.

- Major drawbacks to families - Nation Resource loss - Violence in content - Health Issues.

↑ Insert after "Conclusion"
→
STRUCTURAL GAP: Conclusion — Expand the conclusion to summarize findings and propose a call to action for addressing the crisis. (A well-defined conclusion reinforces your argument and leaves the reader with a clear understanding of the need for action, enhancing the essay's impact.)
Enhancing depth and providing concrete examples will significantly strengthen your argument and coherence. Focus on these areas for a more compelling essay.
End of essay
30/100 Needs Work
Introduction Analysis
The Art of First Impressions

Your introduction is your one chance to make the examiner want to read more. Think of it as a movie trailer: grab attention, make a promise, and create anticipation. Most students start with definitions - the essay equivalent of 'once upon a time.' Distinguished essays start with intrigue.

Risking Life for Likes: A Growing Public Health Crisis Introduction
30/100 Developing
20
Hook (S01)
40
Thesis (S02)
10
Roadmap (S03)
40
Language
Professor's Remark

"The introduction presents a thought-provoking topic but lacks the clarity and engagement needed to captivate the reader effectively."

What I Liked

"The notion of a 'growing public health crisis' related to social media is timely and relevant, which can draw interest."

What I Found Weak

"The hook is vague and the sentences lack a cohesive flow, making it challenging for the reader to understand the main argument."

What Would Push Higher

"Create a strong hook that grabs attention, refine the thesis for clarity and debate, and provide a clear roadmap of what will follow."

Your Introduction Ingredients
Current: Hook, Thesis, Roadmap
Target: Hook + Thesis + Roadmap
You Need:
  • A strong hook Hook
  • A debatable thesis Thesis
  • A preview of the essay's structure Roadmap
Creating engagement through an effective hook and clear structure can significantly impact your essay's reception.
The Hook: Your First 10 Words

The hook is your opening punch. It should make the examiner's eyebrows rise, create a question in their mind, or present a tension that demands resolution. Definitions don't do this. Questions, paradoxes, and vivid scenarios do.

Most students start with 'X has been important since ancient times.' This is true but boring. Your hook should be surprising, not safe.

Hook Score (S01) 20/100
Your Hook Attempt Sentence 1

"Risking life for Likes: A Growing public Health Crisis"

No Hook Detected
Effectiveness: While the phrase is intriguing, it doesn't strongly engage the reader or present a clear hook.
What's Missing: The hook should immediately pique curiosity or provoke thought, rather than just stating the essay title.
Choose an alternative
Hook Alternatives
1 Provocative Question

"What lengths will individuals go to in the pursuit of social media notoriety?"

Why it works: It invites the reader directly into the topic by prompting them to think critically about the consequences of this behavior.

2 Paradox Hook

"In a world designed to connect us, social media's allure is leading many to take dangerous risks for fleeting likes."

Why it works: This presents a conflict that intrigues the reader by juxtaposing connection with danger.

3 Scenario Hook

"Imagine a young influencer, teetering on the edge of a rooftop, all for a 'perfect' photo—a dangerous stunt for internet fame."

Why it works: It sets a vivid scene and immediately illustrates the extremes people might go to in seeking online validation.

What Changed: Creating a direct question or a vivid scenario will enhance engagement and set the tone for the piece.

Hook Types Reference

Ask a question that challenges assumptions or creates intellectual tension

Template:
In an age of [modern reality], why do [surprising behavior/belief] persist?
When to use: When your topic has a modern vs. traditional tension
Memory Hook: Make the examiner's brain itch with a question it wants answered.

Present a contradiction that creates cognitive dissonance

Template:
[Concept] promises [X], yet delivers [opposite/unexpected].
When to use: When your topic has inherent tensions or contradictions
Memory Hook: Paradox = Intellectual tension. The reader must read on to resolve it.

Paint a vivid picture with unexpected actors or situations

Template:
A [unexpected person 1] does [X]. A [unexpected person 2] does [Y]. [Pattern/Insight].
When to use: When concrete examples create surprise
Memory Hook: Show, don't tell. Concrete images beat abstract statements.

Lead with a surprising number that demands explanation

Template:
[Surprising statistic]. Behind this number lies [deeper truth].
When to use: When you have a genuinely surprising data point
Memory Hook: Numbers shock when they contradict expectations.
Weak Openings to Avoid
  • X has been important since ancient times.
  • In today's world, X is very relevant.
  • X is a topic of great significance.
  • Since time immemorial, X has...
  • X can be defined as...
Examiner Psychology

"The first sentence tells the examiner who they're dealing with. A definition says 'average student.' A paradox says 'someone who thinks differently.' First impressions stick."

Foundation: Thesis + Roadmap

Your thesis is your promise to the reader - what you're going to prove. Your roadmap is the journey you'll take them on. Together, they set up your entire essay. A weak foundation means the examiner isn't sure where you're going.

Thesis without a position is just a topic sentence. Roadmap without anticipation is just a table of contents.

Thesis Score (S02) 40/100
Your Thesis Attempt Sentence 5

"Risking lives for likes is a major health crisis among nation such as ours India."

Effectiveness: This gives a clear position but lacks depth and debatable elements.
What's Missing: The thesis should present a nuanced view that could invite disagreement or challenge commonly held beliefs.
Thesis Upgrades
1 Crisp Stand

"The obsession with social media 'likes' is transforming societal values and poses a pressing health crisis that needs urgent addressing."

Why it works: It articulates a clear problem while encouraging the reader to consider the broader implications.

2 Debatable Angle

"While social media connects us, the escalating pursuit of likes jeopardizes mental health and ethical standards, creating a growing public crisis."

Why it works: This acknowledges a counter viewpoint—about social media as a connective tool—while firmly positioning against it.

3 Sophisticated Balance

"As social media fosters connectivity, it ironically drives perilous behavior in pursuit of likes—a stark reflection of our societal health crisis."

Why it works: It demonstrates complexity and invites readers to consider the paradoxical nature of social media's role in society.

What Changed: A more developed thesis will provide a clearer argumentative direction and invite critical thought.

Thesis Types Reference
Crisp Stand

Clear, direct position with analytical edge

Template: [X] is [position] because [reason that can be debated].
If no one could disagree, it's not a thesis.
Debatable Angle

Acknowledge counter-view, then take position

Template: While critics argue [counter-view], this essay contends [your position].
Show you know the debate, then pick a side.
Sophisticated Balance

Embrace complexity with a nuanced position

Template: [X] is both [A] and [opposite of A] - and [implication of this duality].
Nuance signals intellectual maturity.
Roadmap Score (S03) 10/100
Your Roadmap Attempt

"Not present"

Effectiveness: There is no roadmap present, which leaves the reader unclear about the structure of the argument.
What's Missing: The introduction needs a brief overview of how the essay will unfold to prepare the reader effectively.
Roadmap Upgrades
1 Natural Flow

"This essay will explore how social media alters health perceptions, the moral implications of fame, and the impact on personal identities."

Why it works: This gives a clear picture of what topics will be tackled, piquing interest in the unfolding discussions.

2 Question-Based

"How has social media transformed our understanding of health? What moral dilemmas arise from the quest for online fame? This essay will answer these pressing questions."

Why it works: It invites the reader's curiosity by presenting the main themes as questions, enhancing engagement.

3 Thematic Preview

"We will journey through the risks associated with online fame, dissect societal hypocrisy, and examine the resulting mental health crisis."

Why it works: This introduces key themes without fully revealing the arguments, keeping the reader intrigued.

What Changed: Incorporating a roadmap enhances clarity and provides an engaging entry into the body of the essay.

Roadmap Types Reference
Natural Flow

Weave structure into narrative without listing

Template: To understand [theme], we must first [section 1], then [section 2], and finally [section 3 with tension].
Hide the list inside a story.
Question-Based

Frame structure as questions to be answered

Template: Three questions guide this inquiry: [Q1]? [Q2]? [Q3]?
Questions create curiosity. Readers want answers.
Thematic Preview

Drop intriguing references without explaining

Template: From [intriguing reference 1] to [intriguing reference 2] - this essay maps [terrain].
Tease, don't spoil. Make them want to know more.
Examiner Psychology

Thesis: "A clear thesis tells the examiner 'I'm going to argue something.' This creates anticipation and gives them a lens to evaluate your essay. No thesis = no argument = lower marks."

Roadmap: "A good roadmap tells the examiner 'this essay is organized and going somewhere interesting.' A list tells them 'this student is mechanical.' Anticipation beats information."

The Opening Polish

Your introduction is the most scrutinized part of your essay. Every word matters. We'll teach you three style techniques that instantly elevate your opening: Parallelism, Antithesis, and Crescendo.

Introductions often suffer from 'playing it safe.' This is exactly when you need to take stylistic risks.

Language Score 40/100
Examiner's First Impression

"The language shows some complexity but lacks precision and strong stylistic choices."

Style Techniques Check
Parallelism
Missing
Your attempt: "Not present"
Enhanced version: "The lifeblood of online engagement—likes, shares, and follows—can lead to perilous extremes."
Antithesis
Missing
Your attempt: "Not present"
Enhanced version: "While social media can connect us, it often divides us further from our own realities."
Crescendo
Partial
Your attempt: "Not present"
Enhanced version: "In the chase for likes, the innocent engage in dangerous stunts, the naive lose their self-worth, and society grapples with a crisis of values."
Sentence Transformation Ladder
Sentence 3
Original:
"Social media and its fast cunning ability to communicate also led to degradation values throughout the world, which finally convert into death of naive, amature influencers, content creator's leading to many online/offline fights, Moral policing and mental warfare of endless doom scrolling."
Good "Social media's rapid communication can lead to the degradation of values, resulting in the deaths of naive influencers and a rise in online and offline conflicts."
Better "The swift communication of social media often catalyzes a degradation of societal values, culminating in tragic losses of naive influencers and escalating tensions both online and offline."
Best "The rapid-fire communication facilitated by social media serves as a double-edged sword, contributing to the erosion of societal values and manifesting in fatal outcomes for naive influencers while inciting widespread moral conflicts."
Each successive version adds clarity, depth, and sophistication, transforming a convoluted statement into a powerful observation.
The Power Opener
Original

"Risking life for Likes: A Growing public Health Crisis"

Diagnosis: It's somewhat engaging, but not provocative enough to draw in the reader immediately.
Power Version

"What lengths will individuals go to in the pursuit of social media notoriety?"

Techniques used: Provocative Question
Style Technique Reference
Parallelism

Repeating grammatical structure for rhythm and emphasis

Example: "Faith consoles the grieving, binds the community, and challenges the policy-maker."
Template: [Subject] [verb 1] the [object 1], [verb 2] the [object 2], and [verb 3] the [object 3].
Think triplets: THREE parallel phrases hit harder than two.
Antithesis

Placing contrasting ideas in parallel structure to highlight tension

Example: "Science asks how; faith asks why. The modern mind needs both questions."
Template: [X] does [A]; [Y] does [opposite of A]. [Resolution/implication].
Antithesis = Intellectual tension. Find the BUT in your topic.
Crescendo

Building from small to large, quiet to loud, personal to universal

Example: "From whispered prayers to temple bells to the roar of pilgrim millions - faith scales from intimate to immense."
Template: From [small/personal] to [medium] to [large/universal] - [insight].
Crescendo = Volume up. Start whisper, end thunderclap.
The Complete Transformation

See how all the elements come together. This is what a distinguished introduction looks like.

115

Words Before

60

Words After
Your Original Introduction

Risking life for Likes: A Growing public Health Crisis. Morality wins the day, but your ability to hide your immorality from the light of the day, or shall we say Risking lives for Likes. Social media and its fast cunning ability to communicate also led to degradation values throughout the world, which finally convert into death of naive, amature influencers, content creator's leading to many online/offline fights, Moral policing and mental warfare of endless doom scrolling. True victorian morality of which many of us very fond of appearing to be what you are not; in other words, Hypocrisy. Risking lives for likes is a major health crisis among nation such as ours India.

Transformation Applied
Distinguished Introduction

What lengths will individuals go to in the pursuit of social media notoriety? The obsession with social media 'likes' is transforming societal values and poses a pressing health crisis that needs urgent addressing. This essay will explore how social media alters health perceptions, the moral implications of fame, and the impact on personal identities.

What Changed in Each Layer
hook

Replaced vague statement with a compelling question.

thesis

Clarified the essay's position and made it more debatable.

roadmap

Introduced an engaging preview of the upcoming discussion.

language

Refined phrasing for clarity and impact.

Introduction Structure Blueprint
Ideal Structure
  1. Hook (attention)
  2. Thesis (promise)
  3. Roadmap (anticipation)
Common Mistake
  1. Definition
  2. Vague statement
  3. List of sections

Most introductions are forgettable because they play it safe. Distinguished introductions take risks: provocative hooks, debatable theses, and roadmaps that tease.

Inside the Examiner's Mind
First Impression Effect

The first paragraph colors the entire reading experience. Start strong and you're read generously.

Differentiation Signal

A unique opening signals 'this student is different.' The examiner pays more attention.

Thesis as Lens

A clear thesis gives the examiner a framework. Without it, they're lost and frustrated.

Anticipation Value

A good roadmap creates eagerness. The examiner looks forward to each section instead of dreading it.

Your Growth Journey
Stage 1 Definition Writer

Focus: Stop opening with definitions

Goal: Recognize boring openings

Week 1-2
Stage 2 Hook Crafter

Focus: Master 3 hook types

Goal: Grab attention consistently

Week 3-4
Stage 3 Thesis Builder

Focus: State debatable positions

Goal: Make clear arguments

Week 5-6
Stage 4 Master Opener

Focus: Integrate all elements with style

Goal: Unforgettable introductions

Week 7+
End of introduction analysis