What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone Monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others
47/100Performance Report
What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone Monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others
FairScore Breakdown
Introduction
What do you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others. This essay talks about the nature of legacy that one willing to leave behind. Does one need to act in a way so that his legacy is engraved in architecture and monuments or it becomes the part of lives of coming generations. What kind of legacy Ashoka has left? His history can be seen in Stupas and pillars but the presence of his ideology of Dhammaghosa still can be felt and seen in the lives of Buddhist population throughout the world.
What do you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others. This essay talks about the nature of legacy that one willing to leave behind. Does one need to act in a way so that his legacy is engraved in architecture and monuments or it becomes the part of lives of coming generations. What kind of legacy Ashoka has left? His history can be seen in Stupas and pillars but the presence of his ideology of Dhammaghosa still can be felt and seen in the lives of Buddhist population throughout the world.
The Nature of Legacy: Historical and Ideological Perspectives
The spread of Buddhism in Srilanka, China, Japan and southeast Asia, which transformed and got woven in the lives of people there is nothing but the legacy of Ashoka, which may not be engraved in the monuments but shines in the lives of people. This essay will endeavour to find the true nature of legacy, why people want their names to be immortal and who are the people who do great things without such desires, what drives them and how this is far more impactful. Humanity has always longed for mortality, the seeking of Vardaans of immortality from Gods by Asuras in mythology, or the search of nectar by alchemists, exposes the human's thirst to live longer. Being physically immortal is not in human's hand so he wants his legacy to live longer. All the architectural remains and world's wonders that we see today is the outcome of same thought process. The marvellous temples of south India, the wall of china, Taj mahal, statue of liberty etc are the signatures of human wish of immortal legacy. Such a wish when devoid of virtues and morals may sometime prove futile to humanity. Only the aim of proving oneself great and acts guided by such desires bring catastrophe to humanity. Fighting wars, inventing dangerous technology, doing genocides, etc. just to register one's name in history has never done good to this world. Alexander wanted a historical tag of 'conqueror of the world' led to the loss of millions of lives.
The spread of Buddhism in Srilanka, China, Japan and southeast Asia, which transformed and got woven in the lives of people there is nothing but the legacy of Ashoka, which may not be engraved in the monuments but shines in the lives of people. This essay will endeavour to find the true nature of legacy, why people want their names to be immortal and who are the people who do great things without such desires, what drives them and how this is far more impactful. Humanity has always longed for mortality, the seeking of Vardaans of immortality from Gods by Asuras in mythology, or the search of nectar by alchemists, exposes the human's thirst to live longer. Being physically immortal is not in human's hand so he wants his legacy to live longer. All the architectural remains and world's wonders that we see today is the outcome of same thought process. The marvellous temples of south India, the wall of china, Taj mahal, statue of liberty etc are the signatures of human wish of immortal legacy. Such a wish when devoid of virtues and morals may sometime prove futile to humanity. Only the aim of proving oneself great and acts guided by such desires bring catastrophe to humanity. Fighting wars, inventing dangerous technology, doing genocides, etc. just to register one's name in history has never done good to this world. Alexander wanted a historical tag of 'conqueror of the world' led to the loss of millions of lives.
Acts of Selflessness and Moral Integrity
The zeal of becoming the sole world power is fueling America to do the same. Oppenheimer wanted to become the greatest innovators but his innovations now had led the world to produce nuclear giants and ethical infants. The message is not to look down upon ambition and innovation but, to there should be an ability to assess that how the acts of present going to impact the future. We saw that doing things, just for the history shake may be futile, but there are peoples who falls on the other side of spectrum. There are people who do not care about how much importance they will be given in history, how big a stone have their names engraved. They just have true intent of changing peoples lives. T. N. Sheshan was the chief election commissioner in 1995 when he found huge miscrepencies in Bihar elections. He outrightly cancelled the elections of 22 constituencies. He must have feared, how the government would react or might demonise him but he followed the Kantian principle of duty for duty shake. His legacy has inspired people and democratic values are still woven in the personality of India. Baba Amte's Anandwan is not as huge as a monument but his service to leprosy patients has got woven in the lines of those patients, their families and common masses of country. Those who want only their positive personality in history, make calculated moves. They follow the principle of ethical relativism. They do not care about the means like doing right thing but the end of being immortal in history. Walking on this path may not guarantee a strong legacy, but those who do not care about legacy and react to the situations in a righteous manner definitely impact the lives of people. Rosa Park's resistance by not vacating her seat for a white man or Gandhi's activities for justice in South Africa were not motivated by the perspective of legacy but by doing what was right. People like Baba Amte, Rosa Park, Gandhi didn't erect any monument, didn't engraved their names on architectures but still they have bigger legacies because their acts are now woven in the lives and culture.
The zeal of becoming the sole world power is fueling America to do the same. Oppenheimer wanted to become the greatest innovators but his innovations now had led the world to produce nuclear giants and ethical infants. The message is not to look down upon ambition and innovation but, to there should be an ability to assess that how the acts of present going to impact the future. We saw that doing things, just for the history shake may be futile, but there are peoples who falls on the other side of spectrum. There are people who do not care about how much importance they will be given in history, how big a stone have their names engraved. They just have true intent of changing peoples lives. T. N. Sheshan was the chief election commissioner in 1995 when he found huge miscrepencies in Bihar elections. He outrightly cancelled the elections of 22 constituencies. He must have feared, how the government would react or might demonise him but he followed the Kantian principle of duty for duty shake. His legacy has inspired people and democratic values are still woven in the personality of India. Baba Amte's Anandwan is not as huge as a monument but his service to leprosy patients has got woven in the lines of those patients, their families and common masses of country. Those who want only their positive personality in history, make calculated moves. They follow the principle of ethical relativism. They do not care about the means like doing right thing but the end of being immortal in history. Walking on this path may not guarantee a strong legacy, but those who do not care about legacy and react to the situations in a righteous manner definitely impact the lives of people. Rosa Park's resistance by not vacating her seat for a white man or Gandhi's activities for justice in South Africa were not motivated by the perspective of legacy but by doing what was right. People like Baba Amte, Rosa Park, Gandhi didn't erect any monument, didn't engraved their names on architectures but still they have bigger legacies because their acts are now woven in the lives and culture.
Ambition and the Pursuit of Legacy
Now, the question arises what guides the people who creates such everlasting impressions on the humanity. Are they even conscious about the history or just sticking to their morals and values. Latter is the answer, sticking to the values and morals and being an upright persona in every circumstance, makes such people immortal. This is evident from the life of Socrates. Socrates didn't build and monuments, didn't write any bulky books of his philosophy. What he preached was pretty normal but when time came to choose between preachings and his life. He chose preaching and drank the poison, Socrates this very act made him immortal. Being upright and sticking to morals like Socrates needs courage.
Now, the question arises what guides the people who creates such everlasting impressions on the humanity. Are they even conscious about the history or just sticking to their morals and values. Latter is the answer, sticking to the values and morals and being an upright persona in every circumstance, makes such people immortal. This is evident from the life of Socrates. Socrates didn't build and monuments, didn't write any bulky books of his philosophy. What he preached was pretty normal but when time came to choose between preachings and his life. He chose preaching and drank the poison, Socrates this very act made him immortal. Being upright and sticking to morals like Socrates needs courage.
Courage and Defiance in Pursuing Legacy
Perhaps courage is the second driver of such people. Courage to be forgotten, courage to be ridiculed and courage to not conform to the the ill wills of society. Lasting impressions are made by the people who dare to say and do unconventional but right things. This act of defiance of traditions and values which were perpetual but irrational shapes the course of history and automatically makes such people immortal without trying to be one. The dark aged Europe believed in Geocentrism but which was sanctioned by religion and no one dared to go against this theory. But Copernicus and Galileo defied this. Though they faced punishments but their finding of Heliocentrism still is woven in the lives of people. The courage to navigate in uncertainty and the courage to fail is also one of the drivers.
Perhaps courage is the second driver of such people. Courage to be forgotten, courage to be ridiculed and courage to not conform to the the ill wills of society. Lasting impressions are made by the people who dare to say and do unconventional but right things. This act of defiance of traditions and values which were perpetual but irrational shapes the course of history and automatically makes such people immortal without trying to be one. The dark aged Europe believed in Geocentrism but which was sanctioned by religion and no one dared to go against this theory. But Copernicus and Galileo defied this. Though they faced punishments but their finding of Heliocentrism still is woven in the lives of people. The courage to navigate in uncertainty and the courage to fail is also one of the drivers.
The Complex Nature of Legacy
Vasco-di-gama when ventured out to discover an alternative sea route to India after Ottoman took over middle east was very unsure. This journey could have costed him his life. If he would have died in this journey no one would have remembered his name also but his courage to venture made him immortal. Another driver, which I can think of is selflessness. It is indeed a selfish thought in itself to be remembered and to engrave your names and acts in monuments. But to act selflessly gives one the legacy as by-product. Narayanan Krishnamurthy's act of founding Akshay Trust and not choosing a comfortable chef's life in Switzerland or ISRO's scientists who chose to stay back in India despite of lucrative offers from foreign agencies and private sectors are indeed acts of selflessness. These acts may not make them more famous and memorable but surely they have succeeded in touching lives of millions. Now the question arise, whether having an ambition to be remembered in history is completely negative? Do we need to undermine their efforts who have done this in past? The answer is NO, Both the ambition of legacy and kind acts of making positive impressions of on the lives of people can go hand in hand if balanced carefully and done with a positive intent. one of the examples of this are the Ghats of Varanasi. The different Ghats of Varanasi like Manikarnika, Dashashwamedha, Namo etc. were constructed by the kings. and queens of their respective times. They were built because those kings wanted their names publicised as Varanasi was the most famous pilgrimage site where people visited from entire India. These Ghats are now serving both the purposes, they have made those kings and queens immortal and has also shaped the unique culture of Varanasi. In the starting of the essay, we compared the Stupas and Dharmaghosa ideology of stupas to establish the superiority of ideological conquest of Dharmaghosa. But this does not undermine his architectural ventures. The zeal of erecting monuments, architecture, engraving names and praises, writing books etc. are not completely negative. They serve a lots of purposes. These things are useful in understanding and studying History. Without them we couldn't have deciphered and understood our past. Other utility of such things are that they serve as motivating factors. If in the seek of name and fame only someone is doing something good; his act of goodness can't be undermined because of his ambitions. Both the perspectives form the synthesis of our discussion. The primary thing should be the selfless act of kindness and righteousness without caring other things but there is nothing wrong in being a little ambitious if something wrong is not done. we all must have studied this poem in our childhood - " Chah nahi mai Madhubala ke Gahno me Gutha Jau. Chah nahi mai devo ke Sar chadh kar ithalau. Bas itna hum karna maali mujhe to de lena aur Dena tum us path par phenk Jaha maatrabhuumi ko sees charhane Jaaye veer Anek" This Makhanlal Chaturvedi's Hindi poem highlights the insignificance of desire of constructive great legacies and doing small things which can impact the lives in long run.
Vasco-di-gama when ventured out to discover an alternative sea route to India after Ottoman took over middle east was very unsure. This journey could have costed him his life. If he would have died in this journey no one would have remembered his name also but his courage to venture made him immortal. Another driver, which I can think of is selflessness. It is indeed a selfish thought in itself to be remembered and to engrave your names and acts in monuments. But to act selflessly gives one the legacy as by-product. Narayanan Krishnamurthy's act of founding Akshay Trust and not choosing a comfortable chef's life in Switzerland or ISRO's scientists who chose to stay back in India despite of lucrative offers from foreign agencies and private sectors are indeed acts of selflessness. These acts may not make them more famous and memorable but surely they have succeeded in touching lives of millions. Now the question arise, whether having an ambition to be remembered in history is completely negative? Do we need to undermine their efforts who have done this in past? The answer is NO, Both the ambition of legacy and kind acts of making positive impressions of on the lives of people can go hand in hand if balanced carefully and done with a positive intent. one of the examples of this are the Ghats of Varanasi. The different Ghats of Varanasi like Manikarnika, Dashashwamedha, Namo etc. were constructed by the kings. and queens of their respective times. They were built because those kings wanted their names publicised as Varanasi was the most famous pilgrimage site where people visited from entire India. These Ghats are now serving both the purposes, they have made those kings and queens immortal and has also shaped the unique culture of Varanasi. In the starting of the essay, we compared the Stupas and Dharmaghosa ideology of stupas to establish the superiority of ideological conquest of Dharmaghosa. But this does not undermine his architectural ventures. The zeal of erecting monuments, architecture, engraving names and praises, writing books etc. are not completely negative. They serve a lots of purposes. These things are useful in understanding and studying History. Without them we couldn't have deciphered and understood our past. Other utility of such things are that they serve as motivating factors. If in the seek of name and fame only someone is doing something good; his act of goodness can't be undermined because of his ambitions. Both the perspectives form the synthesis of our discussion. The primary thing should be the selfless act of kindness and righteousness without caring other things but there is nothing wrong in being a little ambitious if something wrong is not done. we all must have studied this poem in our childhood - " Chah nahi mai Madhubala ke Gahno me Gutha Jau. Chah nahi mai devo ke Sar chadh kar ithalau. Bas itna hum karna maali mujhe to de lena aur Dena tum us path par phenk Jaha maatrabhuumi ko sees charhane Jaaye veer Anek" This Makhanlal Chaturvedi's Hindi poem highlights the insignificance of desire of constructive great legacies and doing small things which can impact the lives in long run.
Conclusion
The dark aged Europe believed in Geocentrism but which was sanctioned by religion and no one dared to go against this theory. But Copernicus and Galileo defied this. Though they faced punishments but their finding of Heliocentrism still is woven in the lives of people. The courage to navigate in uncertainty and the courage to fail is also one of the drivers. Vasco-di-gama when ventured out to discover an alternative sea route to India after Ottoman took over middle east was very unsure. This journey could have costed him his life.
The dark aged Europe believed in Geocentrism but which was sanctioned by religion and no one dared to go against this theory. But Copernicus and Galileo defied this. Though they faced punishments but their finding of Heliocentrism still is woven in the lives of people. The courage to navigate in uncertainty and the courage to fail is also one of the drivers. Vasco-di-gama when ventured out to discover an alternative sea route to India after Ottoman took over middle east was very unsure. This journey could have costed him his life.
The Art of First Impressions
Your introduction is your one chance to make the examiner want to read more. Think of it as a movie trailer: grab attention, make a promise, and create anticipation. Most students start with definitions - the essay equivalent of 'once upon a time.' Distinguished essays start with intrigue.
"The introduction has potential, particularly with its philosophical outset, but it lacks a strong hook and a clear, engaging roadmap."
"The quote in sentence 1 sets a reflective tone and introduces the theme of legacy effectively."
"The transitions between points are not fluid, and the thesis statement could be more provocative and focused."
"Incorporate a more captivating hook and ensure the thesis presents a debatable claim with clear roadmap preview."
You Have:
- Quote
- Thematic reference to Ashoka
- Questions on legacy
You Need:
- Engaging hook Hook
- Clear argumentative thesis Thesis
- Specific roadmap preview Roadmap
The Hook: Your First 10 Words
The hook is your opening punch. It should make the examiner's eyebrows rise, create a question in their mind, or present a tension that demands resolution. Definitions don't do this. Questions, paradoxes, and vivid scenarios do.
Most students start with 'X has been important since ancient times.' This is true but boring. Your hook should be surprising, not safe.
"What do you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others."
1 Provocative Question
"What truly defines a legacy: monumental structures or the values we instill in others?"
Why it works: This question challenges the reader to think deeply about the nature of legacy right from the start.
2 Paradox Hook
"In a world fixated on monuments, the most profound legacies lie in the hearts of the living."
Why it works: This creates a striking contrast that invites contemplation about the true essence of legacy.
3 Scenario Hook
"Imagine a civilization that crumbles but leaves behind a philosophy that shapes millions: this is the real legacy."
Why it works: It invites readers to visualize a scenario, piquing curiosity about how legacy operates beyond physical structures.
Ask a question that challenges assumptions or creates intellectual tension
In an age of [modern reality], why do [surprising behavior/belief] persist?
Present a contradiction that creates cognitive dissonance
[Concept] promises [X], yet delivers [opposite/unexpected].
Paint a vivid picture with unexpected actors or situations
A [unexpected person 1] does [X]. A [unexpected person 2] does [Y]. [Pattern/Insight].
Lead with a surprising number that demands explanation
[Surprising statistic]. Behind this number lies [deeper truth].
X has been important since ancient times.In today's world, X is very relevant.X is a topic of great significance.Since time immemorial, X has...X can be defined as...
"The first sentence tells the examiner who they're dealing with. A definition says 'average student.' A paradox says 'someone who thinks differently.' First impressions stick."
Foundation: Thesis + Roadmap
Your thesis is your promise to the reader - what you're going to prove. Your roadmap is the journey you'll take them on. Together, they set up your entire essay. A weak foundation means the examiner isn't sure where you're going.
Thesis without a position is just a topic sentence. Roadmap without anticipation is just a table of contents.
"This essay talks about the nature of legacy that one willing to leave behind."
1 Crisp Stand
"A meaningful legacy is shaped more by our values and influence on future generations than by physical tributes."
Why it works: This asserts a clear position that can provoke debate, inviting readers to consider both sides of what constitutes a legacy.
2 Debatable Angle
"While many believe that grand monuments define a legacy, it is the impact on people's lives that solidifies one's true remembrance."
Why it works: This statement allows for disagreement and sets the stage for discussion in the essay.
3 Sophisticated Balance
"Examining legacy reveals a tension between tangible monuments and the intangible forces that shape societal values."
Why it works: This acknowledges complexity, inviting exploration of both sides while underscoring the essay's analytical goal.
Crisp Stand
Clear, direct position with analytical edge
Debatable Angle
Acknowledge counter-view, then take position
Sophisticated Balance
Embrace complexity with a nuanced position
"Does one need to act in a way so that his legacy is engraved in architecture and monuments or it becomes the part of lives of coming generations."
1 Natural Flow
"Through historical examples like Ashoka's impactful ideologies, the essay will unravel the layers of legacy, exploring how actions resonate through time."
Why it works: This transition seamlessly leads readers into the body while outlining the main themes without being overly detailed.
2 Question-Based
"What does Ashoka's legacy reveal about our own aspirations? This essay contemplates historical influences, personal integrity, and societal challenges."
Why it works: Posing questions engages the readerβs curiosity and creates an anticipation for upcoming explorations.
3 Thematic Preview
"From examining Ashoka's monuments to understanding the principles behind moral legacies, the essay navigates the complexities of what we truly leave behind."
Why it works: This thematic approach avoids spoilers while still guiding expectations effectively.
Natural Flow
Weave structure into narrative without listing
Question-Based
Frame structure as questions to be answered
Thematic Preview
Drop intriguing references without explaining
Thesis: "A clear thesis tells the examiner 'I'm going to argue something.' This creates anticipation and gives them a lens to evaluate your essay. No thesis = no argument = lower marks."
Roadmap: "A good roadmap tells the examiner 'this essay is organized and going somewhere interesting.' A list tells them 'this student is mechanical.' Anticipation beats information."
The Opening Polish
Your introduction is the most scrutinized part of your essay. Every word matters. We'll teach you three style techniques that instantly elevate your opening: Parallelism, Antithesis, and Crescendo.
Introductions often suffer from 'playing it safe.' This is exactly when you need to take stylistic risks.
"The language is straightforward but lacks sophistication."
Parallelism
MissingAntithesis
MissingCrescendo
Missing"This essay talks about the nature of legacy that one willing to leave behind."
"What do you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others."
"What if the enduring legacies we leave are not marked by grand monuments but instead reside in the hearts and minds of future generations?"
Parallelism
Repeating grammatical structure for rhythm and emphasis
Antithesis
Placing contrasting ideas in parallel structure to highlight tension
Crescendo
Building from small to large, quiet to loud, personal to universal
The Complete Transformation
See how all the elements come together. This is what a distinguished introduction looks like.
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Words Before117
Words AfterWhat do you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others. This essay talks about the nature of legacy that one willing to leave behind. Does one need to act in a way so that his legacy is engraved in architecture and monuments or it becomes the part of lives of coming generations. What kind of legacy Ashoka has left? His history can be seen in Stupas and pillars but the presence of his ideology of Dhammaghosa still can be felt and seen in the lives of Buddhist population throughout the world.
What if the enduring legacies we leave are not marked by grand monuments but instead reside in the hearts and minds of future generations? This essay embarks on a profound exploration of the multifaceted nature of legacies we engrave upon the tapestry of time. Through the lens of significant figures like Ashoka, we will examine how legacies can manifest in ideology and societal values rather than merely in physical tributes. By assessing both the monumental and intangible, this essay will uncover the rich depth of what we truly leave behind.
hook
Introduced a more gripping question that challenges the norm.
thesis
Clarified the focus on both tangible and intangible legacies.
roadmap
Outlined the structure and key themes clearly for reader engagement.
language
Enhanced the sophistication and clarity throughout the introduction.
Ideal Structure
- Hook (attention)
- Thesis (promise)
- Roadmap (anticipation)
Common Mistake
DefinitionVague statementList of sections
Most introductions are forgettable because they play it safe. Distinguished introductions take risks: provocative hooks, debatable theses, and roadmaps that tease.
First Impression Effect
The first paragraph colors the entire reading experience. Start strong and you're read generously.
Differentiation Signal
A unique opening signals 'this student is different.' The examiner pays more attention.
Thesis as Lens
A clear thesis gives the examiner a framework. Without it, they're lost and frustrated.
Anticipation Value
A good roadmap creates eagerness. The examiner looks forward to each section instead of dreading it.
Stage 1 Definition Writer
Focus: Stop opening with definitions
Goal: Recognize boring openings
Stage 2 Hook Crafter
Focus: Master 3 hook types
Goal: Grab attention consistently
Stage 3 Thesis Builder
Focus: State debatable positions
Goal: Make clear arguments
Stage 4 Master Opener
Focus: Integrate all elements with style
Goal: Unforgettable introductions