Technology is best when its bring people together
37/100Performance Report
Technology is best when its bring people together
Needs workScore Breakdown
Introduction
TOPIC - "Technology is best when it brings people together". One day, Michael Faraday, out of frustration threw magnet which he was using for experiment, attracted current for a moment and this incident led to the origin of theory of electromagnetic conduction which stands as the basis of many technological advancement in the future. Primary example of this advancement is the working of railways, which has become the mass mobilizer in this era of interconnectedness. This shows how a technological development can bring people together even though the objective may have been different. In this essay, we will delve into the fact that how technology has brought people together, promoted collaboration, trade.
TOPIC - "Technology is best when it brings people together". One day, Michael Faraday, out of frustration threw magnet which he was using for experiment, attracted current for a moment and this incident led to the origin of theory of electromagnetic conduction which stands as the basis of many technological advancement in the future. Primary example of this advancement is the working of railways, which has become the mass mobilizer in this era of interconnectedness. This shows how a technological development can bring people together even though the objective may have been different. In this essay, we will delve into the fact that how technology has brought people together, promoted collaboration, trade.
Technological Advancements Promoting Connectivity
Along with this we will also study how technology does not always lead to collaboration but generate conflict, destruction and evolution of fresh social evils. Global advancement in the shipping and navigational technology has made shipping the backbone of Global trade which is evident from the fact that India's 95% trade by volume is dependent on shipping. Shipping did not only brought people together but it promoted resource transfer, technology transfer leading to overall development of the world. Similarly, the invention of airplanes by Wright brother led to the quick connectivity all over the world reducing travelling from days and months to hours or minutes as today an individual from new delhi can travel to london in less than 24 hours closing the time barrier in people connectivity. Although physical connectivity brings people together but this is not the only medium as sharing of thoughts, spare time to communicate are also elements of togetherness. Evolution of radio, telegraph in the 19th century not only brought the administrators together but it became the tool of mass mobilization in the freedom struggle of India through propagating ideas of freedom, highlighting the real picture of british rule to the people. Use of underground radio by Usha Mehta to disseminate the information, use of printing press by Tilak to inculcate the idea of Swaraj and use of publication by Raja Ram Mohan Roy to promote social justice brought people together in multiple ways and this became bedrock of Indian freedom and social revolution. Apart from its social role, technology has also led to collaboration among the nation in order to collaborative efforts for sustainable development. Technological collaboration between Russia and India through joint development of Mig-29, Brahmos missile has deepened the relations between these two countries. Technological advancement and global interconnectedness has also brought countries together despite past of colonial atrocities as reflected in India-UK relation, India-France relations where cooperation in technology and trade has bridge the gap left by colonial era.
Along with this we will also study how technology does not always lead to collaboration but generate conflict, destruction and evolution of fresh social evils. Global advancement in the shipping and navigational technology has made shipping the backbone of Global trade which is evident from the fact that India's 95% trade by volume is dependent on shipping. Shipping did not only brought people together but it promoted resource transfer, technology transfer leading to overall development of the world. Similarly, the invention of airplanes by Wright brother led to the quick connectivity all over the world reducing travelling from days and months to hours or minutes as today an individual from new delhi can travel to london in less than 24 hours closing the time barrier in people connectivity. Although physical connectivity brings people together but this is not the only medium as sharing of thoughts, spare time to communicate are also elements of togetherness. Evolution of radio, telegraph in the 19th century not only brought the administrators together but it became the tool of mass mobilization in the freedom struggle of India through propagating ideas of freedom, highlighting the real picture of british rule to the people. Use of underground radio by Usha Mehta to disseminate the information, use of printing press by Tilak to inculcate the idea of Swaraj and use of publication by Raja Ram Mohan Roy to promote social justice brought people together in multiple ways and this became bedrock of Indian freedom and social revolution. Apart from its social role, technology has also led to collaboration among the nation in order to collaborative efforts for sustainable development. Technological collaboration between Russia and India through joint development of Mig-29, Brahmos missile has deepened the relations between these two countries. Technological advancement and global interconnectedness has also brought countries together despite past of colonial atrocities as reflected in India-UK relation, India-France relations where cooperation in technology and trade has bridge the gap left by colonial era.
Negative Consequences of Technology
In contemporary world, technological advancement in the area of digital technology, advent of social media has bridged the distance and time gap like never before. Through social media, digital technology and communication technology families have once again got connected despite being physically distant. Evolution of social media has led to the collaboration based on ideology, interests and commonalities. It has made sharing of thoughts easier, faster bringing people together and deliberate on social issues. Evolution of technology has led to goods & service delivery revolution which has brought down rural-urban divide as today amazon delivers goods to very remote locations as well and digital education has led to availability of education from home preventing educational migration. Technologies such as email, cloud computing, online meeting enablers allowed new concepts such as work from home leading to increasing familial togetherness. Similarly, evolution of white goods such as washing machines, fridge, utensils washers etc have led to the efficient use of time and made availability of time for bonding among family members society. Togetherness does not only mean physical and mental togetherness but it also mean economic togetherness i.e. upliftment of marginalised and reducing inequalities. IT revolution in India in 1980s created large scale employment opportunities leading to creation of one of the biggest middle class in the world. This shows how technology can be a tool to fill economic gaps in the world. Although technology has made ways to bring people together but it has also led to divisiveness, exclusion, polarisation and conflicts in the world. One one hand discovery of nuclear weapon has led to avoidance of major global conflict for more than 80 years, on another hand it has led to power accumulation in the hands of few due to global restrictions on development of nuclear weapon. It is evident from the historical account of sanctions imposed by western countries on India in the backdrop of nuclear weapon testing. It shows the disbalance and discriminatory practices in the world where collaboration & cooperation does not depend on the respect to sovereignty but in alignment with ideas of the powerful. Technological advancement in the defence industry and expansion of weapon manufacturing capabilities, alongside defence capabilities may also led to the rise of terrorism in the world which is fuelled by the weapons smuggling. ISIS being one of the biggest example which was fuelled by western countries weapons. Digital Media may led to various benefits of collaboration but it may also led to the various social evils such as cyber bullying, cyber arrests, polarization due to speedy dissemination of information, rise of fake news. Similarly, on individual level social media may led to loneliness, mental health challenges, addiction, objectification of women and all of these in combination has led to decline in moral compass of the society. Technological advancement has also led to reinforcement of caste identity, spread of extremist propaganda and political polarization among the society due to creation of eco-chambers through algorithmic control of information. It has led to the singular viewpoint dissemination turning into reasons of conflict. As it can be seen in the case of delhi riots 2020 where misinformation was one of the biggest driver of clashes.
In contemporary world, technological advancement in the area of digital technology, advent of social media has bridged the distance and time gap like never before. Through social media, digital technology and communication technology families have once again got connected despite being physically distant. Evolution of social media has led to the collaboration based on ideology, interests and commonalities. It has made sharing of thoughts easier, faster bringing people together and deliberate on social issues. Evolution of technology has led to goods & service delivery revolution which has brought down rural-urban divide as today amazon delivers goods to very remote locations as well and digital education has led to availability of education from home preventing educational migration. Technologies such as email, cloud computing, online meeting enablers allowed new concepts such as work from home leading to increasing familial togetherness. Similarly, evolution of white goods such as washing machines, fridge, utensils washers etc have led to the efficient use of time and made availability of time for bonding among family members society. Togetherness does not only mean physical and mental togetherness but it also mean economic togetherness i.e. upliftment of marginalised and reducing inequalities. IT revolution in India in 1980s created large scale employment opportunities leading to creation of one of the biggest middle class in the world. This shows how technology can be a tool to fill economic gaps in the world. Although technology has made ways to bring people together but it has also led to divisiveness, exclusion, polarisation and conflicts in the world. One one hand discovery of nuclear weapon has led to avoidance of major global conflict for more than 80 years, on another hand it has led to power accumulation in the hands of few due to global restrictions on development of nuclear weapon. It is evident from the historical account of sanctions imposed by western countries on India in the backdrop of nuclear weapon testing. It shows the disbalance and discriminatory practices in the world where collaboration & cooperation does not depend on the respect to sovereignty but in alignment with ideas of the powerful. Technological advancement in the defence industry and expansion of weapon manufacturing capabilities, alongside defence capabilities may also led to the rise of terrorism in the world which is fuelled by the weapons smuggling. ISIS being one of the biggest example which was fuelled by western countries weapons. Digital Media may led to various benefits of collaboration but it may also led to the various social evils such as cyber bullying, cyber arrests, polarization due to speedy dissemination of information, rise of fake news. Similarly, on individual level social media may led to loneliness, mental health challenges, addiction, objectification of women and all of these in combination has led to decline in moral compass of the society. Technological advancement has also led to reinforcement of caste identity, spread of extremist propaganda and political polarization among the society due to creation of eco-chambers through algorithmic control of information. It has led to the singular viewpoint dissemination turning into reasons of conflict. As it can be seen in the case of delhi riots 2020 where misinformation was one of the biggest driver of clashes.
Conclusion and Future Outlook
Along with promoting global collaboration among the countries through technology, it has become reason of geopolitical conflicts. China's restriction on supply of processed critical & rare earth mineral chips etc has led to disruption in global supply chain. USA, protectionist policies has created ripples in the global order which was earlier based on rules and collaboration. Dual Control of digital technology and AI capabilities in the hands of China and USA has led to creation of two separate power groups instead of global order based on cooperation which mandates small countries to take sides ultimately leading to loss of strategic autonomy. Technology in itself is not divisive but its unregulated, unethical and selfish use by the people, state, countries has created the challenges associated with evolution of technology. Radio was also used by Usha Mehta to disseminate information in quit India movement and the same radio and telegraph was used by britishers to mobilise police and control the expression of ideas through torture. On one hand the ships are backbone of global trade connecting worlds economically and on another hand similar ship was used by terrorists in 2008 to enter mumbai and carried out one of the deadliest attack on the city so it can be said that technology in itself is not a boon to humanity but its the intent and morality of the hands that uses that technology decides the outcome. True potential of technology can only be realised if its use is regulated, through law and ethical values and targeted towards bringing world together.
Along with promoting global collaboration among the countries through technology, it has become reason of geopolitical conflicts. China's restriction on supply of processed critical & rare earth mineral chips etc has led to disruption in global supply chain. USA, protectionist policies has created ripples in the global order which was earlier based on rules and collaboration. Dual Control of digital technology and AI capabilities in the hands of China and USA has led to creation of two separate power groups instead of global order based on cooperation which mandates small countries to take sides ultimately leading to loss of strategic autonomy. Technology in itself is not divisive but its unregulated, unethical and selfish use by the people, state, countries has created the challenges associated with evolution of technology. Radio was also used by Usha Mehta to disseminate information in quit India movement and the same radio and telegraph was used by britishers to mobilise police and control the expression of ideas through torture. On one hand the ships are backbone of global trade connecting worlds economically and on another hand similar ship was used by terrorists in 2008 to enter mumbai and carried out one of the deadliest attack on the city so it can be said that technology in itself is not a boon to humanity but its the intent and morality of the hands that uses that technology decides the outcome. True potential of technology can only be realised if its use is regulated, through law and ethical values and targeted towards bringing world together.
The Art of First Impressions
Your introduction is your one chance to make the examiner want to read more. Think of it as a movie trailer: grab attention, make a promise, and create anticipation. Most students start with definitions - the essay equivalent of 'once upon a time.' Distinguished essays start with intrigue.
"The introduction presents interesting ideas but lacks a powerful opening and a cohesive flow. There is potential for greater engagement with the reader."
"You provided an interesting historical anecdote about Michael Faraday, which adds a unique angle to the topic."
"The hook does not strongly engage the reader, and the thesis could be more debatable. Additionally, the roadmap lacks specific details on the structure."
"Consider starting with a more dynamic hook; clarify your thesis to invite disagreement; and expand your roadmap to intrigue the audience."
You Have:
- Historical anecdote
- Thesis on technology's role
- General roadmap
You Need:
- An engaging hook Hook
- Clear and debatable thesis Thesis
- Detailed and intriguing roadmap Roadmap
The Hook: Your First 10 Words
The hook is your opening punch. It should make the examiner's eyebrows rise, create a question in their mind, or present a tension that demands resolution. Definitions don't do this. Questions, paradoxes, and vivid scenarios do.
Most students start with 'X has been important since ancient times.' This is true but boring. Your hook should be surprising, not safe.
"One day, Michael Faraday, out of frustration threw magnet which he was using for experiment, attracted current for a moment and this incident led to the origin of theory of electromagnetic conduction which stands as the basis of"
1 Provocative Question
"What if technology was never meant to unite us, yet it does so effortlessly?"
Why it works: This question provokes thought and immediately connects to the essay topic, encouraging readers to ponder.
2 Paradox Hook
"In a world increasingly disconnected, technology finds a way to bring us closer than ever before."
Why it works: This paradox presents a surprising angle, heightening the reader's interest in how technology can simultaneously connect and isolate.
3 Scenario Hook
"Imagine a railway station bustling with diverse individuals, each brought together by the efficiency of technology."
Why it works: This scenario draws a vivid picture that relates directly to the topic, inviting the reader to visualize the connection technology creates.
Ask a question that challenges assumptions or creates intellectual tension
In an age of [modern reality], why do [surprising behavior/belief] persist?
Present a contradiction that creates cognitive dissonance
[Concept] promises [X], yet delivers [opposite/unexpected].
Paint a vivid picture with unexpected actors or situations
A [unexpected person 1] does [X]. A [unexpected person 2] does [Y]. [Pattern/Insight].
Lead with a surprising number that demands explanation
[Surprising statistic]. Behind this number lies [deeper truth].
X has been important since ancient times.In today's world, X is very relevant.X is a topic of great significance.Since time immemorial, X has...X can be defined as...
"The first sentence tells the examiner who they're dealing with. A definition says 'average student.' A paradox says 'someone who thinks differently.' First impressions stick."
Foundation: Thesis + Roadmap
Your thesis is your promise to the reader - what you're going to prove. Your roadmap is the journey you'll take them on. Together, they set up your entire essay. A weak foundation means the examiner isn't sure where you're going.
Thesis without a position is just a topic sentence. Roadmap without anticipation is just a table of contents.
"In this essay, we will delve into the fact that how technology has brought people together, promoted collaboration, trade."
1 Crisp Stand
"Technology transcends its original purpose, becoming a crucial agent for unity and collaboration in today's interconnected world."
Why it works: This statement clearly asserts a position that can be debated, enhancing engagement with the reader.
2 Debatable Angle
"While technology often aims for efficiency, its greatest impact lies in its ability to foster human connections across distances."
Why it works: Acknowledging the efficiency argument introduces a counter-view, offering a more nuanced thesis.
3 Sophisticated Balance
"Even as technology facilitates trade and collaboration, we must critically evaluate its role in shaping interactions and connections."
Why it works: This positions the essay as a critical examination, appealing to readers interested in a deeper discourse on the impact of technology.
Crisp Stand
Clear, direct position with analytical edge
Debatable Angle
Acknowledge counter-view, then take position
Sophisticated Balance
Embrace complexity with a nuanced position
"we will delve into the fact that how technology has brought people together, promoted collaboration, trade."
1 Natural Flow
"This exploration will illuminate how technology not only connects people through advancements in communication and transportation but also poses challenges that must be addressed."
Why it works: This narrative creates a seamless transition into the body, sparking curiosity about both positive and negative aspects of technology.
2 Question-Based
"How has technology reshaped societal norms, and what are its implications for future connectivity?"
Why it works: Framing the roadmap as questions encourages readers to think ahead about the answers provided in the essay.
3 Thematic Preview
"We will journey through the transformative role of technology in promoting global interactions, its dual-edged effects, and the imperative for responsible use."
Why it works: Thematically previewing creates anticipation for a structured argument while hinting at the complexity involved.
Natural Flow
Weave structure into narrative without listing
Question-Based
Frame structure as questions to be answered
Thematic Preview
Drop intriguing references without explaining
Thesis: "A clear thesis tells the examiner 'I'm going to argue something.' This creates anticipation and gives them a lens to evaluate your essay. No thesis = no argument = lower marks."
Roadmap: "A good roadmap tells the examiner 'this essay is organized and going somewhere interesting.' A list tells them 'this student is mechanical.' Anticipation beats information."
The Opening Polish
Your introduction is the most scrutinized part of your essay. Every word matters. We'll teach you three style techniques that instantly elevate your opening: Parallelism, Antithesis, and Crescendo.
Introductions often suffer from 'playing it safe.' This is exactly when you need to take stylistic risks.
"Language is functional but lacks sophistication and variety."
Parallelism
MissingAntithesis
MissingCrescendo
Missing"Primary example of this advancement is the working of railways, which has become the mass mobilizer in this era of interconnectedness."
"One day, Michael Faraday, out of frustration threw magnet which he was using for experiment, attracted current for a moment and this incident led to the origin of theory of electromagnetic conduction which stands as the basis of"
"What if the spark of innovation lies not in the tool but in the connections it fosters among us?"
Parallelism
Repeating grammatical structure for rhythm and emphasis
Antithesis
Placing contrasting ideas in parallel structure to highlight tension
Crescendo
Building from small to large, quiet to loud, personal to universal
The Complete Transformation
See how all the elements come together. This is what a distinguished introduction looks like.
112
Words Before136
Words AfterOne day, Michael Faraday, out of frustration threw magnet which he was using for experiment, attracted current for a moment and this incident led to the origin of theory of electromagnetic conduction which stands as the basis of many technological advancement in the future. Primary example of this advancement is the working of railways, which has become the mass mobilizer in this era of interconnectedness. This shows how a technological development can bring people together even though the objective may have been different. In this essay, we will delve into the fact that how technology has brought people together, promoted collaboration, trade.
What if the spark of innovation lies not in the tool but in the connections it fosters among us? Consider the railway, a pivotal achievement that illustrates how technology can serve as a bridge between people in an increasingly interconnected world. This exploration will illuminate how technology not only connects us through communication and transportation advancements but also poses challenges that must be addressed. In examining these themes, we will uncover the nuances of technology's role in promoting both collaboration and conflict.
hook
Transformed from an anecdote into a provocative question.
thesis
Refined to state a debatable position on technology's role in connection.
roadmap
Expanded to outline the forthcoming analysis on both positive and negative implications.
language
Enhanced clarity and sophistication in word choice.
Ideal Structure
- Hook (attention)
- Thesis (promise)
- Roadmap (anticipation)
Common Mistake
DefinitionVague statementList of sections
Most introductions are forgettable because they play it safe. Distinguished introductions take risks: provocative hooks, debatable theses, and roadmaps that tease.
First Impression Effect
The first paragraph colors the entire reading experience. Start strong and you're read generously.
Differentiation Signal
A unique opening signals 'this student is different.' The examiner pays more attention.
Thesis as Lens
A clear thesis gives the examiner a framework. Without it, they're lost and frustrated.
Anticipation Value
A good roadmap creates eagerness. The examiner looks forward to each section instead of dreading it.
Stage 1 Definition Writer
Focus: Stop opening with definitions
Goal: Recognize boring openings
Stage 2 Hook Crafter
Focus: Master 3 hook types
Goal: Grab attention consistently
Stage 3 Thesis Builder
Focus: State debatable positions
Goal: Make clear arguments
Stage 4 Master Opener
Focus: Integrate all elements with style
Goal: Unforgettable introductions