Performance Report
Media shapes perception and therefore shapes society
Needs work
41
/ 100
Overall Performance
Needs work
Score Breakdown
Introduction
Hook, Thesis, Roadmap
30
/ 100
Hook: 30
Thesis: 40
Roadmap: 10
Essay Sections
Content, Strategy, Analysis
62
/ 100
Content: 72
Strategy: 32
Analytical: 65
Conclusion
Synthesis, Closure, Impact
25
/ 100
Synthesis: 30
Closure: 20
Forward Look: 25
Impact: 10
Language
Writing quality across all sections
48
/ 100
41 100
You made a standard attempt.
The student has made a solid attempt to discuss media's role in society but has gaps in depth and critical analysis, particularly in connecting examples and case studies.
Solid foundation but lacks depth; integrate case studies for a compelling narrative.
Introduction
102 3
Words: 102
Target: 60-100

Essay - 2 Media Shapes Perception & Therefore Shapes Society In January 2013, chilling winters of north India, a girl was out with one of her male friends for a late night movie show. After enjoying the movie, both boarded bus to reach their respective destinations, Little did they know that what will going to come next will change their lives for forever. 4 people in the same bus raped that girl and inserted rod in her private parts. Few days later, government sent that girl for treatment to Singapore and unfortunately doctors could'nt save her. Yes, This story was about Nirbhaya.

Essay - 2 Media Shapes Perception & Therefore Shapes Society In January 2013, chilling winters of north India, a girl was out with one of her male friends for a late night movie show. After enjoying the movie, both boarded bus to reach their respective destinations, Little did they know that what will going to come next will change their lives for forever. 4 people in the same bus raped that girl and inserted rod in her private parts. Few days later, government sent that girl for treatment to Singapore and unfortunately doctors could'nt save her. Yes, This story was about Nirbhaya.

Media's Role in Social Change
216 4
Words: 216
Target: 80-150

and shape an opinion about voting behaviour. Media shapes the value system of the society and help us to make our society a better place. while on one hand media helps society and contributes positively on the other hand, it plays an irresponsible role in order to achieve materialistic gain and cause the downfall of moral standards of society. one of the implications of irresponsible behaviour of media is "Fake news". Recently our prime minister, Narendra Modi also called out "fake news" in one of episode of "Mann ki baat" programme. Fake news works as slow poison for society and it affects the societal perceptions in a negative fashion. 'Khurpeneh' posted photos & videos of some place showing the broken roads, clogged manholes etc requesting the legislators of that area to make things better. As soon as this hashtag went viral on platform 'X', people from different parts of India, started posting on 'X' about the flawed infrastructure of their cities and requesting their concerned legislator to step up and do the needful. Many media houses, started covering this story and this movement started to make visible impact on grounds while legislators started repairing the flawed infrastructure. From these two examples, we can understand the role that media plays and shape public opinion in our society.

and shape an opinion about voting behaviour. Media shapes the value system of the society and help us to make our society a better place. while on one hand media helps society and contributes positively on the other hand, it plays an irresponsible role in order to achieve materialistic gain and cause the downfall of moral standards of society. one of the implications of irresponsible behaviour of media is "Fake news". Recently our prime minister, Narendra Modi also called out "fake news" in one of episode of "Mann ki baat" programme. Fake news works as slow poison for society and it affects the societal perceptions in a negative fashion. 'Khurpeneh' posted photos & videos of some place showing the broken roads, clogged manholes etc requesting the legislators of that area to make things better. As soon as this hashtag went viral on platform 'X', people from different parts of India, started posting on 'X' about the flawed infrastructure of their cities and requesting their concerned legislator to step up and do the needful. Many media houses, started covering this story and this movement started to make visible impact on grounds while legislators started repairing the flawed infrastructure. From these two examples, we can understand the role that media plays and shape public opinion in our society.

↑ Insert after "Media's Role in Social Change"
→
GAP: Media's Role in Social Change — Deepen the analysis by incorporating examples of successful media campaigns and statistics on media consumption trends. (This will enhance the section by providing concrete evidence of media's impact, allowing for a more robust evaluation of its role in shaping societal values.)
→
GAP: Case Studies — Add a dedicated section on case studies showcasing both positive and negative impacts of media. (Having a focused case study section will provide depth and context, allowing for a richer analysis of media's dual role in shaping society.)
Media and Political Accountability
520 4
Words: 520
Target: 80-150

Fake news sow the seeds of hatred, loss of trust, impact the sense of brotherhood & fraternity and cause widespread violence, communalism hatred on religious lines. As per one of reports & survey, India is at first place in world in spreading fake news. Because of these negative incidents, government have to resort actions such as internet ban, curfew and sometimes martial law as well. Thereby, Responsible journalism should be the goal of media houses. As Gandhi ji said "The role of journalism to serve the humankind", Media houses should stick to ethical principles and adhere to truthfulness because they are the one who shapes society in a larger way. As they say "Media is the reflection of the society" which certainly makes sense because media portrays the reality of the society and help society to strive for betterment. Role of media is evident in Indian history as well. In our struggle for independence, media shaped perception, united people against the mighty british empire. Newspapers were the main source to disseminate information those days. Newspapers like Kesari, Maharatta, New India, Commonweal, Hitabadi, Sanjibani etc shaped public opinion and therefore society and motivated them to 'act' against british empire. In absence of facility like social media, youtube etc, our Freedom Fighters relied largely upon newspapers to disseminate their ideas in those days. As soon as the news break out, Media houses started covering this heinous act. Whole country's blood was boiling with anger. With Responsible role of media, whole country got agitated against this crime and government of the day was so pressurised that they had to bring a law (Criminal law amendment act 2013) - Nirbhaya act to make more stringent provisions for such crimes. Apart from this, Nirbhaya fund also established to help women facing such crimes. Few days back, a social media account user with a name "khurpench" on platform 'X', started a movement "Ye Thik Karke Dikhao" with respect to expose the flawed infrastructure of cities in monsoon season. Last year in Mumbai, to construct the metro shades, Aarey forest had to be deforested. Different media houses covered this news and people started getting aware by government decision. Aarey forests are considered as 'Lungs of Mumbai'. As soon as people came to know about the decision, they started protesting against it. Govt of the state came under pressure and they had to take back their decision. If rightly used, media have powers to change the whole landscape of perceptions. And rightly so, Media is called the "fourth pillar of democracy" in our country after legislature, executive & judiciary because of the importance it holds. During covid-19 pandemic, when the parliament was not functioning regularly, government of the day resorted to bring some "Agricultural ordinance" and later on it became an act after passing of the parliament. These agricultural laws had provisions like commercial farming etc. Media of the big news houses started reporting on this issue and public opinion were aroused. Later on, because of active role of media, India witnessed the largest Farmers protest of its history and government has resorted to take these laws back.

Fake news sow the seeds of hatred, loss of trust, impact the sense of brotherhood & fraternity and cause widespread violence, communalism hatred on religious lines. As per one of reports & survey, India is at first place in world in spreading fake news. Because of these negative incidents, government have to resort actions such as internet ban, curfew and sometimes martial law as well. Thereby, Responsible journalism should be the goal of media houses. As Gandhi ji said "The role of journalism to serve the humankind", Media houses should stick to ethical principles and adhere to truthfulness because they are the one who shapes society in a larger way. As they say "Media is the reflection of the society" which certainly makes sense because media portrays the reality of the society and help society to strive for betterment. Role of media is evident in Indian history as well. In our struggle for independence, media shaped perception, united people against the mighty british empire. Newspapers were the main source to disseminate information those days. Newspapers like Kesari, Maharatta, New India, Commonweal, Hitabadi, Sanjibani etc shaped public opinion and therefore society and motivated them to 'act' against british empire. In absence of facility like social media, youtube etc, our Freedom Fighters relied largely upon newspapers to disseminate their ideas in those days. As soon as the news break out, Media houses started covering this heinous act. Whole country's blood was boiling with anger. With Responsible role of media, whole country got agitated against this crime and government of the day was so pressurised that they had to bring a law (Criminal law amendment act 2013) - Nirbhaya act to make more stringent provisions for such crimes. Apart from this, Nirbhaya fund also established to help women facing such crimes. Few days back, a social media account user with a name "khurpench" on platform 'X', started a movement "Ye Thik Karke Dikhao" with respect to expose the flawed infrastructure of cities in monsoon season. Last year in Mumbai, to construct the metro shades, Aarey forest had to be deforested. Different media houses covered this news and people started getting aware by government decision. Aarey forests are considered as 'Lungs of Mumbai'. As soon as people came to know about the decision, they started protesting against it. Govt of the state came under pressure and they had to take back their decision. If rightly used, media have powers to change the whole landscape of perceptions. And rightly so, Media is called the "fourth pillar of democracy" in our country after legislature, executive & judiciary because of the importance it holds. During covid-19 pandemic, when the parliament was not functioning regularly, government of the day resorted to bring some "Agricultural ordinance" and later on it became an act after passing of the parliament. These agricultural laws had provisions like commercial farming etc. Media of the big news houses started reporting on this issue and public opinion were aroused. Later on, because of active role of media, India witnessed the largest Farmers protest of its history and government has resorted to take these laws back.

↑ Insert after "Media and Political Accountability"
→
GAP: Media and Political Accountability — Include recent political scandals covered by media and the impact of social media on protests. (Incorporating current examples will not only illustrate the relevance of media's role in accountability but also strengthen the overall argument by showing contemporary impacts.)
Conclusion
25
Words: 25
Target: 60-100

Media expose different political financial scams from time-to-time (commonwealth scam, 2-G scam) which make people aware about the corrupt practices of politicians they adhere to.

Media expose different political financial scams from time-to-time (commonwealth scam, 2-G scam) which make people aware about the corrupt practices of politicians they adhere to.

Enhance your essay by deepening the analysis and integrating more concrete examples to support your arguments effectively.
End of essay
30/100 Needs Work
Introduction Analysis
The Art of First Impressions

Your introduction is your one chance to make the examiner want to read more. Think of it as a movie trailer: grab attention, make a promise, and create anticipation. Most students start with definitions - the essay equivalent of 'once upon a time.' Distinguished essays start with intrigue.

Media Shapes Perception & Therefore Shapes Society Introduction
30/100 Developing
30
Hook (S01)
40
Thesis (S02)
10
Roadmap (S03)
20
Language
Professor's Remark

"The introduction attempts to address a significant societal issue through a gripping story but lacks a clear analytical framework and structure."

What I Liked

"The use of the Nirbhaya case as an example immediately draws attention to a serious topic, highlighting the critical role media plays in shaping societal perceptions."

What I Found Weak

"There's a lack of a strong thesis statement and roadmap, making it difficult for readers to gauge the essay's direction."

What Would Push Higher

"Refocusing on crafting a compelling thesis that articulates a specific viewpoint and enhancing the roadmap elements to create anticipation for the essay’s main arguments."

Your Introduction Ingredients
Current: Scenario with a narrative but lacks thesis and roadmap.
Target: Hook + Thesis + Roadmap
You Have:
  • Narrative hook
You Need:
  • A clear thesis statement articulating a specific argument Thesis
  • A detailed roadmap outlining subsequent sections Roadmap
A strong introduction should marry an engaging hook with a clear thesis and roadmap, guiding readers on a cohesive journey through your arguments.
The Hook: Your First 10 Words

The hook is your opening punch. It should make the examiner's eyebrows rise, create a question in their mind, or present a tension that demands resolution. Definitions don't do this. Questions, paradoxes, and vivid scenarios do.

Most students start with 'X has been important since ancient times.' This is true but boring. Your hook should be surprising, not safe.

Hook Score (S01) 30/100
Your Hook Attempt Sentence 1

"In January 2013, chilling winters of north India, a girl was out with one of her male friends for a late night movie show."

Scenario
Effectiveness: The hook starts with a specific event, but it could be more impactful by evoking a strong emotional response or posing a provocative question.
What's Missing: What’s missing is a universal hook that connects the reader immediately to the broader implications of the story.
Choose an alternative
Hook Alternatives
1 Provocative Question

"What if your perception of safety was shattered by an unexpected betrayal on a routine night?"

Why it works: This question engages the reader’s emotions and sets the stage for discussing media's role in shaping perceptions of safety and violence.

2 Paradox Hook

"In a world increasingly connected by media, why do we often remain blind to the harsh realities it chooses to showcase?"

Why it works: This paradox draws attention to the complexities of media representation, encouraging readers to think critically about media narratives.

3 Scenario Hook

"Just an ordinary movie night turned into a tragedy that would ignite a nationwide debate on societal safety."

Why it works: This scenario vividly illustrates the contrast between normalcy and violence, immediately capturing the reader's attention.

What Changed: Focusing on revising the hook to inspire curiosity and emotion can make the introduction much more impactful.

Hook Types Reference

Ask a question that challenges assumptions or creates intellectual tension

Template:
In an age of [modern reality], why do [surprising behavior/belief] persist?
When to use: When your topic has a modern vs. traditional tension
Memory Hook: Make the examiner's brain itch with a question it wants answered.

Present a contradiction that creates cognitive dissonance

Template:
[Concept] promises [X], yet delivers [opposite/unexpected].
When to use: When your topic has inherent tensions or contradictions
Memory Hook: Paradox = Intellectual tension. The reader must read on to resolve it.

Paint a vivid picture with unexpected actors or situations

Template:
A [unexpected person 1] does [X]. A [unexpected person 2] does [Y]. [Pattern/Insight].
When to use: When concrete examples create surprise
Memory Hook: Show, don't tell. Concrete images beat abstract statements.

Lead with a surprising number that demands explanation

Template:
[Surprising statistic]. Behind this number lies [deeper truth].
When to use: When you have a genuinely surprising data point
Memory Hook: Numbers shock when they contradict expectations.
Weak Openings to Avoid
  • X has been important since ancient times.
  • In today's world, X is very relevant.
  • X is a topic of great significance.
  • Since time immemorial, X has...
  • X can be defined as...
Examiner Psychology

"The first sentence tells the examiner who they're dealing with. A definition says 'average student.' A paradox says 'someone who thinks differently.' First impressions stick."

Foundation: Thesis + Roadmap

Your thesis is your promise to the reader - what you're going to prove. Your roadmap is the journey you'll take them on. Together, they set up your entire essay. A weak foundation means the examiner isn't sure where you're going.

Thesis without a position is just a topic sentence. Roadmap without anticipation is just a table of contents.

Thesis Score (S02) 40/100
Your Thesis Attempt Sentence 5

"Yes, This story was about Nirbhaya."

Effectiveness: While the mention of Nirbhaya establishes a critical case, it doesn’t articulate a debatable position that could invite discussion or controversy.
What's Missing: The thesis lacks the necessary analytical depth and doesn’t outline a clear argument related to media’s impact on society.
Thesis Upgrades
1 Crisp Stand

"The media not only conveys news but also shapes our perceptions, often amplifying societal issues like violence against women."

Why it works: This statement takes a firm stance on the media's influence, prompting readers to consider its implications.

2 Debatable Angle

"While media plays a crucial role in highlighting societal issues, it often perpetuates stereotypes and fails to convey the complete truth."

Why it works: This acknowledges different perspectives, indicating that the essay will explore both positives and negatives.

3 Sophisticated Balance

"The portrayal of tragic events in media can catalyze social change, yet it risks sensationalism that oversimplifies complex societal issues."

Why it works: This nuanced positioning recognizes the dual role of media, fostering a deeper discussion in the essay.

What Changed: Enhancing the thesis with a clearly defined argument allows for a stronger foundation for the essay.

Thesis Types Reference
Crisp Stand

Clear, direct position with analytical edge

Template: [X] is [position] because [reason that can be debated].
If no one could disagree, it's not a thesis.
Debatable Angle

Acknowledge counter-view, then take position

Template: While critics argue [counter-view], this essay contends [your position].
Show you know the debate, then pick a side.
Sophisticated Balance

Embrace complexity with a nuanced position

Template: [X] is both [A] and [opposite of A] - and [implication of this duality].
Nuance signals intellectual maturity.
Roadmap Score (S03) 10/100
Your Roadmap Attempt Sentence Not present

"Not present"

Effectiveness: There is no roadmap present in the introduction, making it hard for readers to anticipate the structure of the arguments that will follow.
What's Missing: The absence of a roadmap means readers are left without guidance on how the essay will flow or what points will be addressed.
Roadmap Upgrades
1 Natural Flow

"In this essay, I will explore how media influences societal values, impacts political accountability, and ultimately shapes the framework of our society."

Why it works: This construction provides a smooth transition into the body of the essay, outlining key areas of exploration without giving everything away.

2 Question-Based

"How does media shape our values, influence political discourse, and serve as both a mirror and a mold for societal behavior?"

Why it works: This approach creates curiosity, inviting the reader to engage with the questions that guide the essay.

3 Thematic Preview

"By analyzing media's role in shaping perceptions, the essay will delve into its power in social change and the implications for political accountability."

Why it works: This thematic preview stimulates interest in the topics that will be discussed, encouraging reader engagement.

What Changed: Including a roadmap in the introduction can significantly improve clarity and help readers understand the structure of the upcoming arguments.

Roadmap Types Reference
Natural Flow

Weave structure into narrative without listing

Template: To understand [theme], we must first [section 1], then [section 2], and finally [section 3 with tension].
Hide the list inside a story.
Question-Based

Frame structure as questions to be answered

Template: Three questions guide this inquiry: [Q1]? [Q2]? [Q3]?
Questions create curiosity. Readers want answers.
Thematic Preview

Drop intriguing references without explaining

Template: From [intriguing reference 1] to [intriguing reference 2] - this essay maps [terrain].
Tease, don't spoil. Make them want to know more.
Examiner Psychology

Thesis: "A clear thesis tells the examiner 'I'm going to argue something.' This creates anticipation and gives them a lens to evaluate your essay. No thesis = no argument = lower marks."

Roadmap: "A good roadmap tells the examiner 'this essay is organized and going somewhere interesting.' A list tells them 'this student is mechanical.' Anticipation beats information."

The Opening Polish

Your introduction is the most scrutinized part of your essay. Every word matters. We'll teach you three style techniques that instantly elevate your opening: Parallelism, Antithesis, and Crescendo.

Introductions often suffer from 'playing it safe.' This is exactly when you need to take stylistic risks.

Language Score 20/100
Examiner's First Impression

"The language used is straightforward but lacks flair and sophistication that could enhance engagement."

Style Techniques Check
Parallelism
Missing
Your attempt: "Not present"
Enhanced version: "With its power to inform, influence, and inspire, the media shapes our view of the world."
Antithesis
Missing
Your attempt: "Not present"
Enhanced version: "While the media exposes injustices, it can also trivialize them, creating a complex relationship with societal issues."
Crescendo
Missing
Your attempt: "Not present"
Enhanced version: "From unfathomable tragedies to everyday injustices, the media’s role in shaping perception cannot be underestimated."
Sentence Transformation Ladder
Sentence 2
Original:
"After enjoying the movie, both boarded bus to reach their respective destinations, Little did they know that what will going to come next will change their lives for forever."
Good "After enjoying the movie, they took a bus home, unaware that their lives were about to change forever."
Better "Following a delightful evening at the cinema, they boarded a bus, oblivious to the life-altering event awaiting them."
Best "After a night filled with cinematic joy, they embarked on their journey home only to be ensnared in a fate that would irrevocably alter their lives."
The revised versions enhance clarity, rhythm, and sophistication in language, making the narrative more engaging.
The Power Opener
Original

"In January 2013, chilling winters of north India, a girl was out with one of her male friends for a late night movie show."

Diagnosis: The opening line provides context but lacks emotional depth and urgency.
Power Version

"On a frigid January night in 2013, a simple outing to the movies turned into a nightmare for a young woman, forever reshaping public discourse on safety."

Techniques used: Imagery Emotional weight
Style Technique Reference
Parallelism

Repeating grammatical structure for rhythm and emphasis

Example: "Faith consoles the grieving, binds the community, and challenges the policy-maker."
Template: [Subject] [verb 1] the [object 1], [verb 2] the [object 2], and [verb 3] the [object 3].
Think triplets: THREE parallel phrases hit harder than two.
Antithesis

Placing contrasting ideas in parallel structure to highlight tension

Example: "Science asks how; faith asks why. The modern mind needs both questions."
Template: [X] does [A]; [Y] does [opposite of A]. [Resolution/implication].
Antithesis = Intellectual tension. Find the BUT in your topic.
Crescendo

Building from small to large, quiet to loud, personal to universal

Example: "From whispered prayers to temple bells to the roar of pilgrim millions - faith scales from intimate to immense."
Template: From [small/personal] to [medium] to [large/universal] - [insight].
Crescendo = Volume up. Start whisper, end thunderclap.
The Complete Transformation

See how all the elements come together. This is what a distinguished introduction looks like.

102

Words Before

105

Words After
Your Original Introduction

In January 2013, chilling winters of north India, a girl was out with one of her male friends for a late night movie show. After enjoying the movie, both boarded bus to reach their respective destinations, Little did they know that what will going to come next will change their lives for forever. 4 people in the same bus raped that girl and inserted rod in her private parts. Few days later, government sent that girl for treatment to Singapore and unfortunately doctors could'nt save her. Yes, This story was about Nirbhaya.

Transformation Applied
Distinguished Introduction

On a frigid January night in 2013, a simple outing to the movies turned into a nightmare for a young woman, forever reshaping public discourse on safety. Following a delightful evening at the cinema, she and her friend boarded a bus, oblivious to the life-altering event awaiting them. Tragically, she became the victim of a brutal assault by four men, which ultimately led to her untimely death despite attempts to save her in Singapore. This harrowing case of Nirbhaya exemplifies how media shapes our perceptions and societal values regarding violence against women.

What Changed in Each Layer
hook

Enhanced emotional depth and urgency.

thesis

Clear stance on media's impact.

roadmap

Connections made to upcoming arguments about media's roles.

language

Improved clarity and sophistication.

Introduction Structure Blueprint
Ideal Structure
  1. Hook (attention)
  2. Thesis (promise)
  3. Roadmap (anticipation)
Common Mistake
  1. Definition
  2. Vague statement
  3. List of sections

Most introductions are forgettable because they play it safe. Distinguished introductions take risks: provocative hooks, debatable theses, and roadmaps that tease.

Inside the Examiner's Mind
First Impression Effect

The first paragraph colors the entire reading experience. Start strong and you're read generously.

Differentiation Signal

A unique opening signals 'this student is different.' The examiner pays more attention.

Thesis as Lens

A clear thesis gives the examiner a framework. Without it, they're lost and frustrated.

Anticipation Value

A good roadmap creates eagerness. The examiner looks forward to each section instead of dreading it.

Your Growth Journey
Stage 1 Definition Writer

Focus: Stop opening with definitions

Goal: Recognize boring openings

Week 1-2
Stage 2 Hook Crafter

Focus: Master 3 hook types

Goal: Grab attention consistently

Week 3-4
Stage 3 Thesis Builder

Focus: State debatable positions

Goal: Make clear arguments

Week 5-6
Stage 4 Master Opener

Focus: Integrate all elements with style

Goal: Unforgettable introductions

Week 7+
End of introduction analysis