WAR
57/100Performance Report
WAR
FairScore Breakdown
Introduction
WAR "Only the death have seen the end of war" - George Santayana. War is a political instrument not created by modern states. The beginning was created in during the phase of evolution. Nature (Earth) has a limited resource for survival that is called carrying capacity. When an organism is overpopulated they struggle begin with themselves.
WAR "Only the death have seen the end of war" - George Santayana. War is a political instrument not created by modern states. The beginning was created in during the phase of evolution. Nature (Earth) has a limited resource for survival that is called carrying capacity. When an organism is overpopulated they struggle begin with themselves.
Consequences of War
Darwin's theory survival of the fittest and struggle of existence (Ex: Due to tall trees, the original giraffe neck was short, for survival the neck becomes long). Likewise the war started inbetween human due to clash of political power, sufferage. Thus how individual ego become a disaster which cause to suffering to only to people' and their lifestyle of which includes economic, social and environment cause. Not only humans the nature also get harmed. But the ego begins when voluntary attack on people, acquired their territory huge loss happen ordinary people of country not the king and treating the other country people like slave and plunder their wealth (Ex: East India company plunder India's resource which a Great revolt 1857 After crown was take incharge of India). An individual fight with his neighbour people and block the path which used by them ego clash between them as same as a country done for their protection. Iran-Israel war cause a blockage of strait of Hormuz America support to Israel which cause stress in Hormuz the global oil supply was distrub For this India also suffer. Due to someone ego other also can be hurted. The apex leaders of country should think there will be huge loss. War is always gone only destruction. The countries pillars, older and next generation were killed due to war. Public life get lossed than military solider because people, infrastructure are targeted to block their economic circulation so inflation caused people become to migrate like birds from one country to another. If a fire accident is happen Amazon forest birds and animals usually migrate likewise people migrate as Regu Refugee. The crisis will happen to countries (For Example, in this happen our In Bangalesh (before East Pakistan) due to the religious matter they got fight with themselves.. So Refugee are at the border of India. Indhira Gandhi - Iron Lady of India solved this problem with her idea, bond with Russia when America supported Pakistan. Not military alone dies, children and women was used as puppet. In Rwanda Genocite, many women used as weapon of war, was sexual harassment. This show the male peak inequality. Not only women, children are used as labour (syrian civil war) and leave school which cause post traumatic stress. This Refugee crisis and harassment show how public suffered during war than military, army. This cause a social and humanitarian crisis.
Darwin's theory survival of the fittest and struggle of existence (Ex: Due to tall trees, the original giraffe neck was short, for survival the neck becomes long). Likewise the war started inbetween human due to clash of political power, sufferage. Thus how individual ego become a disaster which cause to suffering to only to people' and their lifestyle of which includes economic, social and environment cause. Not only humans the nature also get harmed. But the ego begins when voluntary attack on people, acquired their territory huge loss happen ordinary people of country not the king and treating the other country people like slave and plunder their wealth (Ex: East India company plunder India's resource which a Great revolt 1857 After crown was take incharge of India). An individual fight with his neighbour people and block the path which used by them ego clash between them as same as a country done for their protection. Iran-Israel war cause a blockage of strait of Hormuz America support to Israel which cause stress in Hormuz the global oil supply was distrub For this India also suffer. Due to someone ego other also can be hurted. The apex leaders of country should think there will be huge loss. War is always gone only destruction. The countries pillars, older and next generation were killed due to war. Public life get lossed than military solider because people, infrastructure are targeted to block their economic circulation so inflation caused people become to migrate like birds from one country to another. If a fire accident is happen Amazon forest birds and animals usually migrate likewise people migrate as Regu Refugee. The crisis will happen to countries (For Example, in this happen our In Bangalesh (before East Pakistan) due to the religious matter they got fight with themselves.. So Refugee are at the border of India. Indhira Gandhi - Iron Lady of India solved this problem with her idea, bond with Russia when America supported Pakistan. Not military alone dies, children and women was used as puppet. In Rwanda Genocite, many women used as weapon of war, was sexual harassment. This show the male peak inequality. Not only women, children are used as labour (syrian civil war) and leave school which cause post traumatic stress. This Refugee crisis and harassment show how public suffered during war than military, army. This cause a social and humanitarian crisis.
Modern Warfare and Technology
In evolution to contemporary world the increasing of military guns, weapons, equipment than spending to Health, Education in their budget. This impact on economic, such as loss of agriculture, shortage of grains, which public get suffered, fight themselves which lead to destroy of that country Ex: In Russia-Ukraine war, 2022 as though Ukraine was powerful in defense, the shortage of wheat and crude oil directly affect the people's welfare. Before a war the leaders should think people. Ultimately nowadays, a country become develop with digital infrastructure so the evolutional trend change the war, not directly attack on ground but in their security on digital. The attack on digital software such as cyber warfare which hack the system of technology with new era of AI. Ex: The attack of water facility controllers in Israel-Hamas conflict and using Unmanned Aerial vehicle (UAV). These are examples of Technology. This technology also helps in destroy of environment. Using bomb and rocket, missile to target forest, agricultural land, dilute of toxic substance in river, lakes which is the primary use drinking water of public. America-Vietnam war, america used a Agent orange on river which cause DNA-mutation severly affect on people. Why this using as weapon. Everyone are human, not have a care on public. Here, the dilemma begins, what is use of war?
In evolution to contemporary world the increasing of military guns, weapons, equipment than spending to Health, Education in their budget. This impact on economic, such as loss of agriculture, shortage of grains, which public get suffered, fight themselves which lead to destroy of that country Ex: In Russia-Ukraine war, 2022 as though Ukraine was powerful in defense, the shortage of wheat and crude oil directly affect the people's welfare. Before a war the leaders should think people. Ultimately nowadays, a country become develop with digital infrastructure so the evolutional trend change the war, not directly attack on ground but in their security on digital. The attack on digital software such as cyber warfare which hack the system of technology with new era of AI. Ex: The attack of water facility controllers in Israel-Hamas conflict and using Unmanned Aerial vehicle (UAV). These are examples of Technology. This technology also helps in destroy of environment. Using bomb and rocket, missile to target forest, agricultural land, dilute of toxic substance in river, lakes which is the primary use drinking water of public. America-Vietnam war, america used a Agent orange on river which cause DNA-mutation severly affect on people. Why this using as weapon. Everyone are human, not have a care on public. Here, the dilemma begins, what is use of war?
Conclusion
killing a peoples, acquiring their territories that all. No one cannot live with every things that earned through unwanted manner. The old people anywhere in the world cannot be happy if there is not relationship after war, creating a stress minded. The stress cannot with gold, or any other high value objects. In some societies, the ritual of their parent should done by children. Without children or parent how they can live lifestyle even parent in orphanage. It was done by other mother's son. The Just war theory says if any Right Intention if enemy countries purposefully attack on countries. The principle of Just war theory Jus ad bellum (before war) 7 To resist aggression, defend the territorial integrity, To prevent genocide. Ex: Gulf War 1991 - US lead coalition expel Iraq from Kuwait. Here pacifism should be used. The interfere of the countries to the withdraw of war. If you have chance to win then you should you should protect our country like R2P doctrine. In mahabharat war, the fight between cousin which lead to defeat Kauravas, even though winning in war Pandavas lost all their relationship in the war. They lost even their children. After them there grand children was assent to throne. Because of throne desire, the war killed many soldiers, kings, children, women which affect the growth and development of people. The United Nation organisation should strict their war regulation which leads to destruction. Strict impose to all countries including UN which is making rules. there should not inequality between states. The Peace diplomacy and disarmament which leads to both country growth without affecting both of public. War is not solution for any problem. "An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind - Mahatma Gandhi For Global peace it is a last resort not for all time. Using a weapons killed knowledge of all person. so war should not be important than knowledge.
killing a peoples, acquiring their territories that all. No one cannot live with every things that earned through unwanted manner. The old people anywhere in the world cannot be happy if there is not relationship after war, creating a stress minded. The stress cannot with gold, or any other high value objects. In some societies, the ritual of their parent should done by children. Without children or parent how they can live lifestyle even parent in orphanage. It was done by other mother's son. The Just war theory says if any Right Intention if enemy countries purposefully attack on countries. The principle of Just war theory Jus ad bellum (before war) 7 To resist aggression, defend the territorial integrity, To prevent genocide. Ex: Gulf War 1991 - US lead coalition expel Iraq from Kuwait. Here pacifism should be used. The interfere of the countries to the withdraw of war. If you have chance to win then you should you should protect our country like R2P doctrine. In mahabharat war, the fight between cousin which lead to defeat Kauravas, even though winning in war Pandavas lost all their relationship in the war. They lost even their children. After them there grand children was assent to throne. Because of throne desire, the war killed many soldiers, kings, children, women which affect the growth and development of people. The United Nation organisation should strict their war regulation which leads to destruction. Strict impose to all countries including UN which is making rules. there should not inequality between states. The Peace diplomacy and disarmament which leads to both country growth without affecting both of public. War is not solution for any problem. "An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind - Mahatma Gandhi For Global peace it is a last resort not for all time. Using a weapons killed knowledge of all person. so war should not be important than knowledge.
The Art of First Impressions
Your introduction is your one chance to make the examiner want to read more. Think of it as a movie trailer: grab attention, make a promise, and create anticipation. Most students start with definitions - the essay equivalent of 'once upon a time.' Distinguished essays start with intrigue.
"The introduction touches on important themes but lacks engagement and clarity."
"The inclusion of a quote sets a serious tone regarding war."
"The transition from the quote to the thesis is disjointed and lacks a clear direction."
"Strengthen the hook with more vivid imagery or a question, enhance the thesis to present a clear argument, and provide a roadmap of your main points."
You Have:
- Quote
- Thesis
You Need:
- An engaging hook that draws readers in. Hook
- Map out your main points and structure. Roadmap
- Refine language for clarity and sophistication. Language
The Hook: Your First 10 Words
The hook is your opening punch. It should make the examiner's eyebrows rise, create a question in their mind, or present a tension that demands resolution. Definitions don't do this. Questions, paradoxes, and vivid scenarios do.
Most students start with 'X has been important since ancient times.' This is true but boring. Your hook should be surprising, not safe.
"Only the death have seen the end of war"
1 Provocative Question
"What does the persistent nature of war reveal about human society?"
Why it works: This question invites the reader to think critically about the broader implications of war.
2 Paradox Hook
"War, a construct of peace, often brings humanity to its most destructive edge."
Why it works: This paradox invites reflection on the duality of war's purpose and impact.
3 Scenario Hook
"Imagine a world where war becomes a distant memory; what would humanity have sacrificed to achieve such peace?"
Why it works: This scenario invitingly engages the reader's imagination on the consequences of war.
Ask a question that challenges assumptions or creates intellectual tension
In an age of [modern reality], why do [surprising behavior/belief] persist?
Present a contradiction that creates cognitive dissonance
[Concept] promises [X], yet delivers [opposite/unexpected].
Paint a vivid picture with unexpected actors or situations
A [unexpected person 1] does [X]. A [unexpected person 2] does [Y]. [Pattern/Insight].
Lead with a surprising number that demands explanation
[Surprising statistic]. Behind this number lies [deeper truth].
X has been important since ancient times.In today's world, X is very relevant.X is a topic of great significance.Since time immemorial, X has...X can be defined as...
"The first sentence tells the examiner who they're dealing with. A definition says 'average student.' A paradox says 'someone who thinks differently.' First impressions stick."
Foundation: Thesis + Roadmap
Your thesis is your promise to the reader - what you're going to prove. Your roadmap is the journey you'll take them on. Together, they set up your entire essay. A weak foundation means the examiner isn't sure where you're going.
Thesis without a position is just a topic sentence. Roadmap without anticipation is just a table of contents.
"War is a political instrument not created by modern states."
1 Crisp Stand
"War, as a political tool, often reflects humanity's failure to resolve conflict peacefully and can be seen as both a necessity and a tragedy."
Why it works: This statement portrays a stronger, more debatable position on the nature of war.
2 Debatable Angle
"Despite its portrayal as a political necessity, war may ultimately be humanity's biggest folly, demonstrating our deepest conflicts."
Why it works: This counters popular views on the inevitability of war, inviting debate.
3 Sophisticated Balance
"While war serves as a political instrument, its ramifications often extend beyond mere conflict, shaping societies in profound and unpredictable ways."
Why it works: This presents a nuanced view on the consequences of war, appealing to more complex discussions.
Crisp Stand
Clear, direct position with analytical edge
Debatable Angle
Acknowledge counter-view, then take position
Sophisticated Balance
Embrace complexity with a nuanced position
"Not present"
1 Natural Flow
"This essay will explore the multifaceted consequences of war, the evolution of modern warfare through technology, and ultimately reflect on the futility of conflict in pursuit of peace."
Why it works: This provides a clear and engaging flow of what the reader can expect.
2 Question-Based
"What are the consequences of war today? How has technology redefined warfare? In the end, can we find a path to peace?"
Why it works: This approach generates curiosity and invites readers to think ahead on the covered topics.
3 Thematic Preview
"Delving into the reasons behind war's persistence, its technological transformation, and the value of knowledge in transcending conflict will form the crux of this essay."
Why it works: By hinting at themes without detailing the content, this creates suspense and keeps the reader intrigued.
Natural Flow
Weave structure into narrative without listing
Question-Based
Frame structure as questions to be answered
Thematic Preview
Drop intriguing references without explaining
Thesis: "A clear thesis tells the examiner 'I'm going to argue something.' This creates anticipation and gives them a lens to evaluate your essay. No thesis = no argument = lower marks."
Roadmap: "A good roadmap tells the examiner 'this essay is organized and going somewhere interesting.' A list tells them 'this student is mechanical.' Anticipation beats information."
The Opening Polish
Your introduction is the most scrutinized part of your essay. Every word matters. We'll teach you three style techniques that instantly elevate your opening: Parallelism, Antithesis, and Crescendo.
Introductions often suffer from 'playing it safe.' This is exactly when you need to take stylistic risks.
"The language is clear but lacks sophistication in style."
Parallelism
MissingAntithesis
MissingCrescendo
Missing"War is a political instrument not created by modern states."
"Only the death have seen the end of war."
"What specter haunts humanity more than war, a scourge that echoes through our history?"
Parallelism
Repeating grammatical structure for rhythm and emphasis
Antithesis
Placing contrasting ideas in parallel structure to highlight tension
Crescendo
Building from small to large, quiet to loud, personal to universal
The Complete Transformation
See how all the elements come together. This is what a distinguished introduction looks like.
56
Words Before67
Words AfterOnly the death have seen the end of war. War is a political instrument not created by modern states. The beginning was created in during the phase of evolution. Nature (Earth) has a limited resource for survival that is called carrying capacity. When an organism is overpopulated they struggle begin with themselves.
What specter haunts humanity more than war, a scourge that echoes through our history? War operates as a political instrument shaped by a continuum of human existence, evolving from our primal instincts to modern complexities. This essay will explore the multifaceted consequences of war, the evolution of warfare through technology, and ultimately reflect on the futility of conflict in pursuit of peace.
hook
Changed the quote to an engaging question that prompts reflection.
thesis
Refined into a more profound statement that acknowledges war's evolution and impact.
roadmap
Added a clear preview of the essay's main arguments.
language
Enhanced vocabulary and sentence structure for clarity and engagement.
Ideal Structure
- Hook (attention)
- Thesis (promise)
- Roadmap (anticipation)
Common Mistake
DefinitionVague statementList of sections
Most introductions are forgettable because they play it safe. Distinguished introductions take risks: provocative hooks, debatable theses, and roadmaps that tease.
First Impression Effect
The first paragraph colors the entire reading experience. Start strong and you're read generously.
Differentiation Signal
A unique opening signals 'this student is different.' The examiner pays more attention.
Thesis as Lens
A clear thesis gives the examiner a framework. Without it, they're lost and frustrated.
Anticipation Value
A good roadmap creates eagerness. The examiner looks forward to each section instead of dreading it.
Stage 1 Definition Writer
Focus: Stop opening with definitions
Goal: Recognize boring openings
Stage 2 Hook Crafter
Focus: Master 3 hook types
Goal: Grab attention consistently
Stage 3 Thesis Builder
Focus: State debatable positions
Goal: Make clear arguments
Stage 4 Master Opener
Focus: Integrate all elements with style
Goal: Unforgettable introductions