Indian diaspora
55/100Performance Report
Indian diaspora
FairScore Breakdown
Introduction
Essay Topic => "Indian diaspora - nativist Glance & Contribution" A boy, with his parents from Indian origin took birth in foreign country - United Kingdom and got his upbringings in native country. He got developed as a U.K citizen but his inner ethics and values which his parents inculcated were Indian. Later, he got choosen as Prime Minister of United Kingdom due to his popularity, we are talking about Mr. Rishi Sunak. How he despite belonging to Indian origin family with poor background was able to highlight India's name in world's most developed country. This is how a dynamic diaspora of a country could make its native country feel proud.
Essay Topic => "Indian diaspora - nativist Glance & Contribution" A boy, with his parents from Indian origin took birth in foreign country - United Kingdom and got his upbringings in native country. He got developed as a U.K citizen but his inner ethics and values which his parents inculcated were Indian. Later, he got choosen as Prime Minister of United Kingdom due to his popularity, we are talking about Mr. Rishi Sunak. How he despite belonging to Indian origin family with poor background was able to highlight India's name in world's most developed country. This is how a dynamic diaspora of a country could make its native country feel proud.
Understanding the Indian Diaspora
In this essay we are going to discuss about what the diaspora is? Why diaspora is shifting to foreign countries? What are its contributions in various dimensions? Lets delve into the essay through the question what is diaspora? 2. The diaspora of a country is dynamic population which shifts to foreign countries in search of better avenues. However some people follows spousal ground and settle abroad. Indian diaspora has been residing in diversified manner from most developed countries like UK, USA or Canada to the most difficult countries like of Middle east like Oman, Qatar and Saudi Arabia. As per World Bank's report more than 50 million Indian residing abroad making India a healthy diaspora country. Nextly, we are going to talk about various reasons which force nationals to shift abroad. As prevalent in India specially in Punjab an Indian origin boy settled abroad comes, and takes marry a local girl and carry her to abroad. This is not the only 3 reason, however better job perspectives like we can see in U.S.A where most of the qualified Indian moved for high profile IT jobs and living a lavish lifestyle. Some got H1B visa tag, which is considered as status symbol in India as well as abroad. Though search of job is the major cause, yet many prefer to settle on temporary basis in extreme backward countries like Saudi Arabia. It is not that these country are backward, actually they provide very pathetic living places, working hours to Indian diaspora which is mostly in labourous work. Let's delve into the contribution part of Indian diaspora.
In this essay we are going to discuss about what the diaspora is? Why diaspora is shifting to foreign countries? What are its contributions in various dimensions? Lets delve into the essay through the question what is diaspora? 2. The diaspora of a country is dynamic population which shifts to foreign countries in search of better avenues. However some people follows spousal ground and settle abroad. Indian diaspora has been residing in diversified manner from most developed countries like UK, USA or Canada to the most difficult countries like of Middle east like Oman, Qatar and Saudi Arabia. As per World Bank's report more than 50 million Indian residing abroad making India a healthy diaspora country. Nextly, we are going to talk about various reasons which force nationals to shift abroad. As prevalent in India specially in Punjab an Indian origin boy settled abroad comes, and takes marry a local girl and carry her to abroad. This is not the only 3 reason, however better job perspectives like we can see in U.S.A where most of the qualified Indian moved for high profile IT jobs and living a lavish lifestyle. Some got H1B visa tag, which is considered as status symbol in India as well as abroad. Though search of job is the major cause, yet many prefer to settle on temporary basis in extreme backward countries like Saudi Arabia. It is not that these country are backward, actually they provide very pathetic living places, working hours to Indian diaspora which is mostly in labourous work. Let's delve into the contribution part of Indian diaspora.
Cultural and Social Contributions
Socially talking, Indian carried rich culture of our country to foreign countries and this is not that this rich culture is confined to only Indian diaspora there. But foreign 4. nationals also respect our cultural identities. There are many incidents like in Canada, Australia and USA where foreigners along with our natives celebrate the festivals like Diwali with exchange of sweets. Celebration apart, our religious sentiments also got recognised with celebration of birth anniversaries along with 'Nagar Kirtan' on the foreign roads and due equal respect paid off by foreign nationals. Establishment of religious sites like Temple, Gurudwara has firmly bind our sentiments to its foreign roots. These religious & cultural contributions of our diaspora has not only explore our religious values to foreigners, but has helped in recognition of the same at global level.
Socially talking, Indian carried rich culture of our country to foreign countries and this is not that this rich culture is confined to only Indian diaspora there. But foreign 4. nationals also respect our cultural identities. There are many incidents like in Canada, Australia and USA where foreigners along with our natives celebrate the festivals like Diwali with exchange of sweets. Celebration apart, our religious sentiments also got recognised with celebration of birth anniversaries along with 'Nagar Kirtan' on the foreign roads and due equal respect paid off by foreign nationals. Establishment of religious sites like Temple, Gurudwara has firmly bind our sentiments to its foreign roots. These religious & cultural contributions of our diaspora has not only explore our religious values to foreigners, but has helped in recognition of the same at global level.
Political and Economic Contributions
Similarly, the political sphere has also got healthy contribution from Indian natives. Through propagation of national propaganda of acquiring United nations permanent seat in security council through road shows in USA, Canada they raised the voice of India in global domain. Collectively, the Indian diaspora fighting against the most dangerous threat of to our country - "the terrorism" through exposing illegal foreign aids to illegal NGO / radical groups through secret intelligence sharing. In past the most of the western countries including USA, UK and African subcontinent faced social evil of 'Apartheid' - where the local people used to mistreat / humiliate the migrated one. The diaspora helped in eliminating this social evil from society and helped them move in development direction. Economically, while Diaspora helped our country's GDP through bulky 6 remittances and currency stabilization, through earning of foreign currency through high profile H1B visa level jobs, on the other hand diaspora has drained our white money abroad along with high qualified youth in the form of Brain drain.
Similarly, the political sphere has also got healthy contribution from Indian natives. Through propagation of national propaganda of acquiring United nations permanent seat in security council through road shows in USA, Canada they raised the voice of India in global domain. Collectively, the Indian diaspora fighting against the most dangerous threat of to our country - "the terrorism" through exposing illegal foreign aids to illegal NGO / radical groups through secret intelligence sharing. In past the most of the western countries including USA, UK and African subcontinent faced social evil of 'Apartheid' - where the local people used to mistreat / humiliate the migrated one. The diaspora helped in eliminating this social evil from society and helped them move in development direction. Economically, while Diaspora helped our country's GDP through bulky 6 remittances and currency stabilization, through earning of foreign currency through high profile H1B visa level jobs, on the other hand diaspora has drained our white money abroad along with high qualified youth in the form of Brain drain.
Challenges and Concerns
In Technology field NASA agency is well known due to its successful space explorations. This is feels proud that around 57% of NASA's staff is of Indian origin. Till now we had talked about diaspora contribution at individual level. In groups Indian diaspora specially "Khalsa Aid's" contribution during pandemic times was well recognised due to their free food and medical assistance. However, Indian diaspora has impacted adversely also in the form of Brain drain. Many incidents of narrating Anti national slogan abroad. 7. defaming Indian values, The middle east diaspora's pathetic living conditions are matter of concern.
In Technology field NASA agency is well known due to its successful space explorations. This is feels proud that around 57% of NASA's staff is of Indian origin. Till now we had talked about diaspora contribution at individual level. In groups Indian diaspora specially "Khalsa Aid's" contribution during pandemic times was well recognised due to their free food and medical assistance. However, Indian diaspora has impacted adversely also in the form of Brain drain. Many incidents of narrating Anti national slogan abroad. 7. defaming Indian values, The middle east diaspora's pathetic living conditions are matter of concern.
Conclusion
We the people of India either living in India or abroad must work toward the welfare of humanity, society, national values and upheld the national integrity through honest practices. Who knows a common family child like Rishi Sunak could also take birth from womb of an Indian mother abroad and rule that country.
We the people of India either living in India or abroad must work toward the welfare of humanity, society, national values and upheld the national integrity through honest practices. Who knows a common family child like Rishi Sunak could also take birth from womb of an Indian mother abroad and rule that country.
The Art of First Impressions
Your introduction is your one chance to make the examiner want to read more. Think of it as a movie trailer: grab attention, make a promise, and create anticipation. Most students start with definitions - the essay equivalent of 'once upon a time.' Distinguished essays start with intrigue.
"The introduction provides a personal touch with a reference to Rishi Sunak but lacks depth and engagement as a hook. The thesis is somewhat clear but could greatly benefit from being more debatable and articulated."
"The inclusion of a relevant contemporary figure like Rishi Sunak injects some interest into the introduction."
"The opening lacks a compelling hook and a structured thesis that offers a clear direction for the essay."
"Consider starting with a thought-provoking question or a vivid scenario to draw the reader in and articulate a clearer thesis statement."
You Have:
- A scenario
- A thesis idea
You Need:
- A compelling hook to spark interest Hook
- A clear debatable thesis statement Thesis
- A roadmap outlining the structure of the essay Roadmap
The Hook: Your First 10 Words
The hook is your opening punch. It should make the examiner's eyebrows rise, create a question in their mind, or present a tension that demands resolution. Definitions don't do this. Questions, paradoxes, and vivid scenarios do.
Most students start with 'X has been important since ancient times.' This is true but boring. Your hook should be surprising, not safe.
"A boy, with his parents from Indian origin took birth in foreign country - United Kingdom and got his upbringings in native country."
1 Provocative Question
"What does it mean to carry your ancestral roots while thriving in a new homeland?"
Why it works: Starting with a question engages the reader's mind and encourages them to ponder the complexities of diaspora.
2 Paradox Hook
"In a world that values globalization, how do the ties to one's roots shape the identity of individuals like Rishi Sunak?"
Why it works: This paradoxical statement sparks interest by highlighting the tension between global identity and cultural heritage.
3 Scenario Hook
"Imagine a young boy, born to Indian parents in the UK, navigating the intricacies of dual identity while aiming for the highest office in the land."
Why it works: A vivid scenario draws the reader in and sets the stage for discussing complex themes of identity.
Ask a question that challenges assumptions or creates intellectual tension
In an age of [modern reality], why do [surprising behavior/belief] persist?
Present a contradiction that creates cognitive dissonance
[Concept] promises [X], yet delivers [opposite/unexpected].
Paint a vivid picture with unexpected actors or situations
A [unexpected person 1] does [X]. A [unexpected person 2] does [Y]. [Pattern/Insight].
Lead with a surprising number that demands explanation
[Surprising statistic]. Behind this number lies [deeper truth].
X has been important since ancient times.In today's world, X is very relevant.X is a topic of great significance.Since time immemorial, X has...X can be defined as...
"The first sentence tells the examiner who they're dealing with. A definition says 'average student.' A paradox says 'someone who thinks differently.' First impressions stick."
Foundation: Thesis + Roadmap
Your thesis is your promise to the reader - what you're going to prove. Your roadmap is the journey you'll take them on. Together, they set up your entire essay. A weak foundation means the examiner isn't sure where you're going.
Thesis without a position is just a topic sentence. Roadmap without anticipation is just a table of contents.
"How he despite belonging to Indian origin family with poor background was able to highlight India's name in world's most developed country."
1 Crisp Stand
"Rishi Sunak's rise as a British Prime Minister exemplifies the profound impact of the Indian diaspora, challenging conventional narratives of immigrant success."
Why it works: This revision posits a clear, debatable stance that invites discussion on broader themes.
2 Debatable Angle
"While some argue that the Indian diaspora struggles to integrate, Sunak's accomplishments highlight its potential to reshape perceptions of immigrants."
Why it works: This presents a contradiction that can lead to exploration and debate within the essay.
3 Sophisticated Balance
"The narrative of Rishi Sunak challenges both nativist sentiments and immigrant stereotypes, showcasing the intricacies of identity within the Indian diaspora."
Why it works: This nuanced position admits complexity and invites deeper analysis regarding identity and integration.
Crisp Stand
Clear, direct position with analytical edge
Debatable Angle
Acknowledge counter-view, then take position
Sophisticated Balance
Embrace complexity with a nuanced position
"Not present"
1 Natural Flow
"This essay will explore the origins of the Indian diaspora, its myriad contributions across cultures and economies, and the challenges it faces in the modern world."
Why it works: This creates a fluid transition from the thesis into the body of the essay, preparing the reader for what's to come.
2 Question-Based
"What contributions has the Indian diaspora made, and what challenges does it currently face?"
Why it works: Framing the roadmap as questions piques curiosity and illustrates the essay's focus areas.
3 Thematic Preview
"As we dissect the multifaceted Indian diaspora, we will uncover its vibrant cultural influences, significant political engagements, and the pertinent issues it navigates."
Why it works: This approach maintains intrigue while subtly hinting at the different facets represented in the body.
Natural Flow
Weave structure into narrative without listing
Question-Based
Frame structure as questions to be answered
Thematic Preview
Drop intriguing references without explaining
Thesis: "A clear thesis tells the examiner 'I'm going to argue something.' This creates anticipation and gives them a lens to evaluate your essay. No thesis = no argument = lower marks."
Roadmap: "A good roadmap tells the examiner 'this essay is organized and going somewhere interesting.' A list tells them 'this student is mechanical.' Anticipation beats information."
The Opening Polish
Your introduction is the most scrutinized part of your essay. Every word matters. We'll teach you three style techniques that instantly elevate your opening: Parallelism, Antithesis, and Crescendo.
Introductions often suffer from 'playing it safe.' This is exactly when you need to take stylistic risks.
"The language is straightforward but lacks sophistication and varied style techniques."
Parallelism
MissingAntithesis
MissingCrescendo
Missing"He got developed as a U.K citizen but his inner ethics and values which his parents inculcated were Indian."
"A boy, with his parents from Indian origin took birth in foreign country - United Kingdom and got his upbringings in native country."
"Born to Indian parents in the UK, he embodies a dual identity that reflects the global nature of the Indian diaspora."
Parallelism
Repeating grammatical structure for rhythm and emphasis
Antithesis
Placing contrasting ideas in parallel structure to highlight tension
Crescendo
Building from small to large, quiet to loud, personal to universal
The Complete Transformation
See how all the elements come together. This is what a distinguished introduction looks like.
111
Words Before122
Words AfterA boy, with his parents from Indian origin took birth in foreign country - United Kingdom and got his upbringings in native country. He got developed as a U.K citizen but his inner ethics and values which his parents inculcated were Indian. Later, he got choosen as Prime Minister of United Kingdom due to his popularity, we are talking about Mr. Rishi Sunak. How he despite belonging to Indian origin family with poor background was able to highlight India's name in world's most developed country. This is how a dynamic diaspora of a country could make its native country feel proud.
What does it mean to carry your ancestral roots while thriving in a new homeland? Rishi Sunakβs journey from the son of Indian immigrants to becoming the Prime Minister of the UK exemplifies the profound impact of the Indian diaspora, challenging conventional narratives of immigrant success. This essay will explore the origins of the Indian diaspora, its myriad contributions across cultures and economies, and the challenges it faces in the modern world.
hook
Introduced with a provocative question to engage readers.
thesis
Clearly stated a debatable position regarding the Indian diaspora's influence.
roadmap
Outlined the main themes of the essay to guide the reader.
language
Enhanced overall language to make it more dynamic and engaging.
Ideal Structure
- Hook (attention)
- Thesis (promise)
- Roadmap (anticipation)
Common Mistake
DefinitionVague statementList of sections
Most introductions are forgettable because they play it safe. Distinguished introductions take risks: provocative hooks, debatable theses, and roadmaps that tease.
First Impression Effect
The first paragraph colors the entire reading experience. Start strong and you're read generously.
Differentiation Signal
A unique opening signals 'this student is different.' The examiner pays more attention.
Thesis as Lens
A clear thesis gives the examiner a framework. Without it, they're lost and frustrated.
Anticipation Value
A good roadmap creates eagerness. The examiner looks forward to each section instead of dreading it.
Stage 1 Definition Writer
Focus: Stop opening with definitions
Goal: Recognize boring openings
Stage 2 Hook Crafter
Focus: Master 3 hook types
Goal: Grab attention consistently
Stage 3 Thesis Builder
Focus: State debatable positions
Goal: Make clear arguments
Stage 4 Master Opener
Focus: Integrate all elements with style
Goal: Unforgettable introductions